


Drop

by Interconnected_3



Category: Free!
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Tumblr: marukaprompts, based off the garden of words, don't worry haru is seventeen, genderbent!haru, genderbent!nagisa, nor am i pedophilic so never you mind sweet child, rin and gou also make a short cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-13 06:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1215889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interconnected_3/pseuds/Interconnected_3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She supposes she's always been a rain woman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Rainy Morning

_Prologue: Rainy Morning_

* * *

 

She supposes she's always been a rain woman. She wouldn't deny it if you were to call her one.

Her entirety itself is an enigma. Simply looking into her mind would leave you confused. A train wreck of runaway thoughts, piled up and scattered throughout like a sandstorm. Either take two steps forward and two steps back or get completely swept away into oblivion. There is no in-between. 

There are a few things that can calm the storm in her head; simple, trivial things like reading or the presence of her family. But eventually the money and books withered down and the family soon drifted away just like the grains of sand on a beach. Then there was only one left. It wasn't always constant, but it was soothing, almost as if the sound was whispering to her.

And maybe it wasn't just the sound. Just the feel of it, cold and fresh against her skin sent strange sensations down her spine. There was nothing else quite like it.

The rain was special, even more so on that day.

* * *

Simple moccasin flats press along the dry walkway, quiet chatter and beeps mixing with the rushing of slick trains. Her gaze flickers from her feet to those of the crammed commuters surrounding her. It's interesting, yet she almost feels out of place. Dress shoes, high heels, sandals, rain boots- and not a single pair of moccasins. Double-breasted coats, suits, briefcases and ties, and suddenly her striped v-neck and brown capris seem blindingly bright.

She trains in on their faces, trying not to slow her pace as she trails a hand over the stair railing while she ascends with the morning civilians. They all look so tired, like some invisible hand had come and leeched all the youth and life out of their faces. Her fingers absently brush through her long raven hair, wondering if she should have tied it up. She nearly looks unkempt amongst the tightly-pulled buns and dark suits. Embarrassment never sinks in, though. She's just a seventeen-year-old girl going about her daily routine, and how she dresses is the least of their concerns. They have better things to spend the energy thinking about, and so does she.

The smell of gas and something metallic covers up that of the rain, and she urges the people in front of her to move faster already. She lets a small sigh out of her nose, playing at the strap of her bag. Bright signs blur with tired faces until she finally sees a sliver of light gray appear- the clouds are awfully bright today.

When she was younger, the sky seemed closer. Much closer. Whenever it rained, it seemed as though the sky was crying. It brought upon a different smell. Unable to reach that place that had once been so close, the least she could do now was love the rain, as with it came the smell of the sky.

The chill of the air conditioning against her face causes goosebumps to rise on her arms. The moment she reaches the station gates, she sets down her bag for a second to pull on her black uniform blazer. She takes a second to stare at the zooming subway before turning back around and opening a clear umbrella above her head. Not looking is better- intentions of going anywhere near there are almost nonexistent. Instead she focuses on the rain, pattering, splashing, making puddles and a screen of droplets hovering over her. Her feet aimlessly pull her away from civilization, as if in a trance from the pleasant sound against her ears.

Cars and onlookers pass her by, umbrellas seeming to pop and bloom on the damp sidewalks. She doesn't allow a faint smile to touch her lips, not until the chatter fades and the greenery envelopes her as if beckoning her into its open arms.

 _I'm coming,_ she silently promises as her legs hop around the puddles and lead her towards the park. The usual routine is already built into her thoughts- slip two fingers into her pockets, pull out a single ten-yen coin, slip it through the coin slot, and push past the gates and cross the bridge.

The garden seems like a completely different place on rainy days. Every riverbank glimmers with ripples, every branch, leaf, every living thing inside outlined and dotted with dewdrops. Breathtaking. Breathtaking is the only word capable of describing this place. Even so, that alone doesn't seem like nearly enough to explain the beauty of this park. A relaxed feeling finally pulls her lips upward as she approaches the wooden gazebo overlooking a small lake, seeming to be comfortably embraced while nestled inside the greenery. Every muscle in her seems to go slack.

Just two more steps. Two more steps until her mind can be at ease.

In fact, she would've been running and on the bench if it weren't for the man already sitting there.

At first, a coil of irritation tightens in her stomach. What was the point of coming here if she couldn't be with anyone but herself and the rain? She couldn't possibly drift away with another person sitting right beside her. A childish disappointment curls her features into a light frown.

The park is quite big- it's not that surprising to have visitors or tourists come by. But those are on hot, sunny days in the midsummer heat, not on a rainy Tuesday morning when most people and parents at either at school or work. Timing is a precise part of her planning too- as nice as it is to be here, she'd never prolong her stay and would usually leave by noon when workers or students file in during their lunch breaks. But of all places, why did it have to be in _her_ special spot?

A pair of green eyes meets her own, and she realizes how long she's been standing there quietly fuming at the man. Breaking the eye contact, she continues towards the bench as if to prove that this is still where _she_ is going to sit. The man picks up his umbrella and moves to the opposite seat without a word, and she closes her own and sits down, unzipping her bag and pulling out a sketchbook, pencil, and eraser.

For a moment, she's grateful that he doesn't speak. Even with the presence of another person, she just had to listen to the rain and not look up from the page. But in spite of what she tells herself, she can't help but peek, just for a few seconds.

The first thing she notices is how tall he is, even while sitting. He's at least a head and a half taller as he sits. His olive hair seems a bit tousled, possibly from running his hands through it. His dress shirt has the top two buttons undone with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A maroon-coloured tie lies loosely by his collarbones, obviously having been pulled at. Her gaze discreetly travels to his side, where a large pack of chocolate sits, opened and broken into smaller squares. A gray backpack is set beside the dessert, and a can of what is unmistakably beer is held in his hand as he looks out at the rushing river behind him.

She can't help but stare, hoping her face doesn't give away how baffled she is if he were to look.

 _Chocolate, and... beer?_ She turns back to the sketches on the page. She tries to seem as interested as she can in her drawings, but she knows that those aren't the first thing on her mind at all. It's something about the face. Slim, mature, but with an air of mildness and peace behind his eyes. Her brow furrows as she reaches for her eraser. Why does he look so familiar?

Black smudges and shavings smudge across the paper, and the smallest _'ah,'_ falls from her lips as the eraser skids from her hands and bounces onto the ground. Almost as if he were calling it, it rolls once before landing squarely into the stranger's broad palm when he reaches down.

"Here." He stands up and offers the eraser back to her, and she takes it without hesitation.

"Sorry. Thank you." She doesn't mean for her voice to sound so clipped and curt, but what can she do? She looks up one more time, just as he sits back down and lifts the can back to his lips again. If she wants to ask, now would be the time.

"Excuse me." She bluntly says, trying to lower the volume of her voice and keep her face expressionless. He glances up, looking somewhat startled. "Have we met before?"

He gives a bit of an awkward smile and shakes his head. "No, sorry."

"I see." She casts her view downwards again, still confused by the deja vu lingering in her head. "Never mind, then."

The minutes slowly pass, with nothing but the sound of rain and the occasional clicking of a beer can being opened. She gives up on trying to figure out who he is, and focuses on the outlines of the various shoe designs scattered over the page. High heels, flats, leather men's shoes. Countless ideas, numbers, measurements everywhere on the paper, just like her mind. It takes longer than usual, but she manages to float away to a peaceful place again.

She isn't sure how much time passes before his voice meets her ears again.

"Mm, that definitely fits."

Jerking in shock of being pulled back to reality, her hand instinctively pulls the cover back over her sketchbook as she looks up to see him staring right at her with a small smile. The light rumbling of thunder causes the clouds to stir and shroud in a dark gray colour behind him with his bag over his shoulder.

"A faint clap of thunder," He softly says as he rises and grabs his red umbrella. "Clouded skies. Perhaps rain comes." He opens it as he walks past, beginning to pass her by. "Even so, will you stay here with me?"

Her lips part in surprise, but no sound passes through them. Without a word, he leaves the gazebo, seeming to be engulfed by the trees as his silhouette fades away. She can do nothing but stare.

Just as quickly as she had come, he had left.


	2. Greenery Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rainy season begins.

_Greenery Rain_

* * *

 

_"This morning, the JMA has declared the start of the rainy season in Kyushu, five days earlier than average. Nagasaki, Saga, Kumamoto, and Kagoshima prefectures are expecting strong rains over a wide area."_

_Thanks, Sagamoto._ Haruka sighs, wiping a damp hand on her apron before crossing over to the beat-up TV and smacking it twice before punching the power button just as the commercials start to roll. Start of the rainy season, huh? Not that it made much of a difference, but if anything it was a bonus. Less school and more time to design.

She turns back to the cutting board, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear that had slipped out of her ponytail. Skilled, nimble hands move the knife back and forth, slicing tomatoes and zucchini while making a satisfying chopping sound bounce around the tiny kitchen. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she doesn't turn when he hears the front doors open and loud footsteps dash in.

"I'm back, Haru-chan!" Nagisa giggles happily, throwing her bag down on the table before latching her arms around her waist. The air crushes out of her abdomen- yup. A ball of energy as usual.

"Nagisa, cut it out, you're gonna knock the pots over." Haru warily scolds, using her free hand to pry her fingers off. She sighs again as she looks over her shoulder at her little sister.

They may be related, but Nagisa practically inherited ninety-eight percent of their mother while Haruka was the remaining two percent. Haruka is only a year older but still taller than her, though Nagisa possesses this childish charm no one can help but love. Softly, fluffy blonde hair, raspberry-coloured eyes, fair skin and a petite figure. Dressed in her pink plaid skirt and accenting tie, she doesn't look much older than a twelve-year-old despite being four years older than that.

"That's no way to greet your sister." She huffs, replacing her hands on Haru's shoulders while balancing on her tiptoes. "What's for dinner? I brought croquettes for us tonight!"

"Thanks. Dinner will be ready soon, so go start your homework." Nagisa deflates, nuzzling her head into her neck. "Awwww..." She pauses before grinning with a glimmer in her eye. "Haru-chan, you look especially pretty today, you know that?"

Pretty? Yeah, right. With a face cold and void of makeup and a purple pair of shorts and a black tank top on, who would think she would be worth ogling at? She replies with a scoff and a tiny smile. "You're not getting any of my croquettes. Hurry and go get changed." As a final beg, she rubs the top of her head before noticing her hair. A round brown ball with a beak on it holds her golden hair in a side ponytail. "And while you're at it, get that off."

Nagisa just blinks before blowing a defensive raspberry as she starts to bound off towards her room. "Why? Iwatobi-chan is adorable!"

"Even though we've never even been there." Haru mutters, carefully placing the freshly-sliced vegetables over a bed of fried noodles. She never quite understood her sister's obsession with the mascot.

"Where's Mom?" The blonde asks, pulling on an oversized sleep shirt and poking back into the kitchen.

"Ran out." She tips her chin towards the table, gesturing to the folded paper with bubbly handwriting covering the front.

"Ehhh, lucky us, huh? We get the croquettes all to ourselves tonight!" Even in a situation like this, Nagisa can still find a positive thing about it. "What's it say?" She unfolds it, scanning over the paper.

"Just the usual letter telling us not to go look for her." The elder's long grown used to the in-and-outs of their mother. She's not sure when she stopped caring, but only would for Nagisa's sake.

"That's what she keeps saying, but..." Nagisa drops herself into her chair, staring into the fan blowing her back back as her lips stick out in a worried pout. "Is it really okay not to?"

"Relax. She'll be back after fighting with her boyfriend." Almost feeling the unconvinced look from her, she adds, "It's not like she has anywhere else to go." Setting down the finished dishes, she smiles lightly at the way Nagisa's face still brightens. "Come on, let's eat."

The beaming look falls after a bowl joins the table. "Geez, mackerel soup again? This is the fifth time we've had it this week!"

Haruka blinks, popping another tomato into her mouth while studying her distraught face. "Consider it punishment for not getting that Iwatobi thing out of your hair."

"Blech!" She sticks out her tongue in response before heaving out a small sigh. A strangely sad smile creeps to her lips. "If you don't make anything else for yourself, I'll be worried when I move out."

There's a light pause, and Haru tries to look as calm as possible. "So you've decided?"

Nagisa nods, playing with her fingers in her lap. "Mhm. Rei-chan has his room cleaned out already, so I'll be moving in next month. He said it was for the best, and that I should have a change of pace from here for a while."

For some reason this rubs her the wrong way, and her brow draws together in slight annoyance. "It's not like I can't take care of you myself. You don't need to be moving anywhere, you're sixteen."

The younger girl just giggles, and she knows she won't be changing her mind anytime soon. "Awww. If you're that worried about me, Rei-chan said you're free to come too!"

Her fingers tighten around her chopsticks. It's not that she doesn't trust Rei- he's straightforward and responsible and somehow could put up with Nagisa enough to end up dating her. If she's moving, she knows she'll be in good hands, but for her to move out too? And leave the house dark and empty when their mom inevitably returns? The least she's willing to do is see to it that she comes back alive, but only because Nagisa still cares, and as long as she does, she'll do it for her share.

"Wait a-" She cuts herself off with a sigh, giving her sister a pointed look. "That's why mom ran out, didn't she? You told her you were gonna be living with Rei."

She laughs, kicking her feet without a care in the world. "How'd you know? She was all like, "Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna live with my boyfriend too!"" Nagisa puts on a strangely-accurate mocking tone as she mimes a beer can tipping into her mouth. The black-haired teen holds back a smile, already seeing the scene in her head.

"I guess it's 'cause she has one of those youthful looks, y'know?" Nagisa tilts her head to the side, holding her chin in thought and quirking an eyebrow.

"It's 'cause she's never worked a single day in her life." Haru tries not to scowl as she says so, staring at the murky reflection in her soup.

The blonde wryly smiles, a rare look for her. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess the one who's been piling on the years is you, right, Haru-chan?"

"You can be the one to supply me with wrinkle cream, then." Haruka's lips lift upwards a bit as she sets down her chopsticks. "Since I've aged so much, you can have the pleasure of doing the dishes, Nagisa."A long groan escapes her before a devilish grin takes its place. She shoots up from her chair and noisily stomps over to the bathroom before Haru can catch her. "Right after I take a bath!"

"Twenty minutes or I'm picking the lock." Haru calls without missing a beat.

Twenty-five minutes and a bobby pin later, Nagisa creeps back into her sister's room with a towel around her shoulders. Haru's always been one to be tidy and neat when it comes to things, but her workspace is the only place she won't bother to clean up. Newspapers with wood carvings, shavings, and scratched notes lie around her like a carpet, and the small table in front of her is lit by a small table lamp. Countless papers and reference pictures are tacked up onto the walls, seeming to give the entire space a messy yet professional tone. She's let down her glossy black hair, letting it fall in a sleek curtain down her back. She's so focused on pulling a piece of leather over the rough wood in her hands that she doesn't notice Nagisa until she speaks again, but the blonde studies her closely.

She wasn't joking when she called her pretty earlier. Though she always is, she's the most beautiful when she's concentrated like this. Haruka's face keeps its even, calm front, but her eyes are sharper, lips held just a bit tighter. And for not the first time, she wonders- how is no one madly in love with her?

Knowing better than to make any physical contact and rouse her from her daydream, Nagisa simply watched her slim hands work their magic. "Help me move, 'kay?"

"Yeah." Haru distractedly answers without looking up, and Nagisa giggles at how absorbed she is. She's always been like that.

"Oh." The raven blinks once, reality seeming to filter back into them as she does so. A hand slips into the pocket of her shorts, pulling out a small, crinkled piece of paper. "Have you heard of this?"

"What is it?" Nagisa perks up right away, a surge of excitement spiking through her at the possibility of her older sister needing her for something. "Let's see..." Her brow furrows as she scans over Haru's messy writing, and she cocks her head in confusion. "Hm? A haiku?"

"It's a tanka." Haru pointedly corrects, barely managing to bite back the rest of her sentence- "That some random man drinking beer and eating chocolate in the park today recited to me for absolutely no reason at all but I feel like I've seen him somewhere before and it kind of creeps me out because I don't know why."

The younger glowers at the scribbled lines, bringing it closer to her face. She shakes a little, and her sister can almost see the steam whistling from her ears.

"Don't explode." She warns upon seeing her cheeks start to turn an alarming shade of blue. "You'd be a pain to clean off the walls."

A defeated whine leaves her as she falls backwards, landing on some old newspapers with wood shavings dusted on it. "I'm sorry, Haru-chan, I don't know!" Her expression quickly lights up as she resorts to walking her feet up Haru's back, drawing an irritated noise out of her throat. "Ask mom when she gets back, 'kay?"

"Fine, just get off already." She does the exact opposite and clings to her neck from behind, stubbornly nosing her way into her hair.

Haru simply sighs, knowing better than to heave relaxed the second her feet left her back. "Nagisa," Haruka says, a warning edge creeping into her voice. This close, she can clearly smell her strawberry-scented shampoo. She must've used too much again.

"Please go to school tomorrow, Haru-chan." Nagisa softly says, voice muffled from where she's buried her head in the back of her shoulder. The warmth pressing onto her from behind begins to feel overwhelming.

There's a surprised pause before Haru answers, trying to pull the leather over the wood the best she can with her sister acting as an anvil. "I thought I told you not to go through my school notices."

"My school sends letters in the same envelope." She says, still not raising her face. "I didn't realize it was yours until I already opened it." Ignoring the annoyed look from her sister, she quietly continues. "At this rate, you won't have enough in-school hours to graduate to senior year."

The black-haired teen closes her eyes for a brief moment and opens them again, not expecting to get told off by her, of all people. Her gaze lands on the calendar in front of the table, crosses and doodles inching closer and closer towards the end of June.

"Okay?" Nagisa pushes one last time, and now Haru knows she's serious. "So please go to school." Her tone doesn't raise or lower, but it's still soft and vulnerable-sounding.

A heavy sigh parts her lips again, tilting her head up to stare at the old ceiling.

"Fine."

* * *

 

Haruka regrets making the promise the second she wakes up the next morning to find her uniform perfectly washed, ironed, and folded on the end of her bed. Just as she pulls on her knee socks and starts to knot her tie, Nagisa loudly stomps in with a hairbrush and elastic in her hands, barging in without a word and sitting her down on the bed.

She’s not even ready herself; her socks are mismatching, her tie tangled, and the buttons on her dress shirt are done completely out of order, but she climbs onto the thin mattress behind her anyway.

“What are you doing?: Haru flatly asks as she drags her polka-dotted brush through her knotted locks. Nagisa’s hair is nowhere near tamed, either, bed-swept strands seeming to defy gravity with the insane angles they stick out at.

“Getting you ready for school.” She strictly replies, and Haru winces at the sound of her hair ripping out. “Since mom isn’t here, I have to keep you looking presentable, don’t I?”

“This is pointless, you know.”

“Don’t say that!” Nagisa protests, putting the brush down and beginning to part her ebony locks. “I’ll get you nice and pretty for the day. Just leave everything to me!”

Giving up, she waits for a few moments in which she fumbles, ties, unties, and brushes through the separated strands repeatedly.

“You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”

“I-I do too!” The blonde defensively cries. “I learned how to do a French braid yesterday!” Three minutes later, she stands up to admire her handiwork, a single braid starting from the base of her neck and curled over her shoulder until the tip reaches her ribs. Given Nagisa’s skills with detail-oriented matters, this one’s surprisingly neat.

“This isn’t a French braid.” Haru points out, rubbing the elastic with two fingers and trying to keep her teasing smile hidden.

“Eh?!” She blinks in shock before crossing her arms. “W-Well, it’s still a braid, so the French would still be proud!” Nagisa circles around her like a bird before swiftly unknotting her green tie.

“What now?”

“You look so pretty, Haru-chan.” She dotingly says, carefully pulling her tie into a bow with an oddly loving look in her eyes. Haruka frowns and turns her head away with a slight pout, an age-old habit when she knows she’s lost. By herself, Haru doesn’t have much of a presence- but a braid? Her tie in a bow? Being feminine has never been a priority for her, so why start now? Usually just brushing her hair and wearing her uniform properly was the farthest she was willing to go for other people. The last thing she would want was for others to think she was dressing up to impress them. But if it’s Nagisa who’s done it for her, then it can’t be helped.

After a rushed breakfast of grilled mackerel, a quick bath, and a parting at the train station, she finds herself sitting in the back row of her literature classroom again. She immediately regrets it, ignoring the stares from her classmates and cradling her chin in her palm. All too soon she remembered why she hated this place. The sound of chalk scraping against the board isn’t enough to give her a sense of consistency and peace. She can’t float away when she’s stuck in a room where no one cares about getting out of here. They’re content with going in circles for the rest of their lives. They don’t care. But she does.

Scratching chalk isn’t enough to calm the desperate storm in her head. It can’t chase away the thoughts inside her mind that scare her.

Thoughts of frustration, confusion, impatience, wondering when, where, and how she’ll finally get out of here, what she’s going to do in the future.

She hates these thoughts.

The notebook in front of her is completely bank, void of notes as if they were a sign of surrender. The clouds beyond the glass seem too bright, and disappointingly dry. Despite the quiet atmosphere, it seems as though the room is going to collapse in on her. The whispers grow louder and louder, scraping at the ends of her skull. They won’t go away.

Her fingers play idly at the end of her braid, and only one thing resounds in her head:

_This is not what I should be doing right now._

Literally dragging her body through her classes, she forces herself to go for one more day considering Nagisa is still bent on getting her ready and it wasn’t raining the next day anyway. She has no excuse to go to that place.

But the day after, it comes back.

Haru presses down on the button of her clock two seconds after it rings, and she swings her legs out of bed. Crossing over to the curtains and pulling them aside, she smiles at the raindrops greeting her. The graying clouds reflect a calming light into the room.

“Rain,” she whispers, unable to keep the mesmerized look off her face. That day, Nagisa insists on doing her hair again, but this time she doesn’t object, too happy to care about appearances. The sisters still part at the train station, but she quickly makes a detour towards the station gates the second the blonde is out of sight.

This time he has to try quite hard to keep the excited smile at bay. It feels like it’s been an eternity since she’s heard such a pleasing sound. Glancing up at her umbrella, a large dewdrop beads together at its edge. She reached out just in time to catch it on her finger, cold and refreshing against her skin. This really is a blessing, a true miracle of nature. It’s a shame that the people around her are too blind to appreciate it.

When she finally reaches the park, a relieved sigh leaves her, but her feet falter before they finish crossing over the bridge. What about that guy from the other day? Would he be here again today, drinking beer and quoting tankas out of nowhere? The second she caught herself thinking about him, she stopped at once, but not before yanking the elastic out of her braid and hastily combing through it with her fingers. She was not going to allow him to think that she was trying anything for his sake.

Haruka pushes her shoulders back, straightens her face to its usual passive state, and calmly approaches the small gazebo. Her heart sinks somewhat at the sight of him opening a can of beer, just as expected. Holding back her disappointed expression, he catches her eye first this time and smiles in a slightly amused fashion, as if he were expecting her too.

“Hello.” He greets her as she closes her umbrella and sits down.

“Hello.” She tries not to mutter, giving a small bow and opening her sketchbook again.

Twirling her pencil in her hands, she frowns at design eighty-six. It’s been empty for the longest time but an outline just won’t visualize. Female or male shoes? When would they be worn? What kind of materials would she need? Her eyebrows draw together, hoping for the rain to give her some inspiration. Maybe if she didn’t have a feeling that she was being stared at all the time, she could let in some new ideas. Giving up, a rough sketch of a leg replaces that of a shoe.

She can’t help it. Her pencil halts its movements, and her eyes dart towards the stranger sitting across from her for just a split moment; his rolled-up sleeves of his dress shirt and gray slacks are still evident, but a striped blue tie takes the place of the maroon one from last time. He sits with a book in one hand and his legs crossed, but one of his black dress shoes is hanging off his foot as he rhythmically sways it back and forth. Estranged by his posture, her focus returns to her drawing. A heel starts to form on the page, followed by a set of toes. A bench soon joins them, giving the image of someone playfully swinging their legs. Haru holds the sides of the book, looking it over carefully. When was the last time she had done something like that? Moving around anxiously while sitting- that sounds like something Nagisa would do.

“Uh, pardon.”

In a flash the cover is back over her book, head turned towards the man. He’s put down his own book, leaning forward with a smile. His attention is trained entirely on her, and she shoves down the urge to fidget while those bright emerald eyes are looking at her.

He gives a small chuckle, and she hopes that he didn’t catch her staring. “No school today?”

She frowns again, reluctant to answer. Rather than him, she turns to the two empty beer cans by his side. “What about you? Is your office closed today?”

Despite her rude tone, he still smiles as he drops his gaze to his lap and shakes his head a little. “Mm. I’m skipping work again.”

At this, she’s a bit taken aback. He doesn’t seem like the type of person to skip, more like… well, he’s tall, but looks like he could be kindergarten teacher or a police officer or something.

Unsure of what else to say, she ventures on somewhat cautiously. “And drinking beer in the park in the morning.” He laughs again, and she quickly prays for no more poetry recitals. “You should eat something with that. It’s not good for you.” She mentally slaps herself; why does she care? Now he’s probably going to tell her off for ordering him around when he’s obviously older than her.

He rests his elbow on his knee, cradling his chin while he leans forward, looking interested. “You seem to know a lot about this for a high-schooler, huh?”

Keeping her face stoic, she watched the raindrops slip from a branch. “I don’t drink.”

“It’s okay.” He says, reaching over to open his bag and rustle around through it. “I’ve got snack food.” The next time she turns around, he has a huge handful of at least seven deluxe milk chocolate bars filling up both his hands. A few of them clatter to his feet, and she blinks in shock. He smiles kindly, eyes upturning with him as he asks: “Would you like some?”

“Uh…” Haruka shies away slightly, leaning back on her hands. What is with this guy? Wasn’t there some saying about not taking candy from strangers? But he’d been so sincere about it that she couldn’t even tell if he was being sarcastic or not. More importantly, how is she supposed to respond to that?

Luckily she doesn’t have to, because then he knowingly says, “You just thought, “This guy’s a freak”, didn’t you?” The fact that he looks more amused than insulted surprises her even more.

“How did you know?” She recklessly asks, not exactly feeling shameful about it. He keeps throwing her off guard anyway, so why would he be offended now?

He just chuckles, shocking her and confirming her suspicions at the same time. “I could just tell from your face.” His eyes smile along, seeming strangely bright amidst the trees behind him. The man sets the chocolates back onto his lap. “But that’s fine. We’re all human, so we’ve all got these quirks that make us unique. I think it’s great.”

Cerulean eyes blink, a bit too interested in his words. It comforts her somehow. “Maybe.”

He nods, laughing a bit as their eyes meet. “Mm. Definitely.”

The conversation drops there, but the silence doesn’t seem nearly as suffocating. Another half hour or so passes before she closes her bag, slinging it onto her shoulder as she stands up. The man’s eyes follow her as she does so, and she figures she should say something as to not be rude.

“I’ll be going.” The girl says, turning to face him.

“Heading to school now?” He asks, sounding genuinely curious. She nods. “You shouldn’t skip classes so much.” He continues with a light frown. “Do you always do this?”

“Only when it rains.” She admits, expecting some sort of request for an answer, since, well, that’s what most people would respond with, right?

Instead, he just smiles again. “Well, we might see each other again, then. The next time it rains.”

She isn’t sure why, but when she leaves, therae’s a strange feeling in her chest. Every time a drop of rain lands on her skin, his words echo in her mind.

The rainy season begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. So this thing was a monster to type.  
> Thanks to all the muffins who've decided to stick around for this, I'm having a lot of fun writing it. :) The next chapter will probably be up in a couple days, so do feel free to leave any comments in the shiny comment box down there if you have any c:   
> ~Interconnected  
> (If you don't get the chapter titles i suggest you look up the ost for the garden of words coughcough)


	3. Rain of Recollection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rainy season continues, and so do their meetings.

_Rain of Recollection_

* * *

 

As if someone had suddenly flipped a switch, the rainy days came one after another. And it was blissful. Each morning she was woken by the sound of raindrops against her window- a sound she wouldn’t have minded listening to forever. Without realizing it, she would climb out of bed with a tiny smile touching her lips. Eventually she started leaving the house only minutes after Nagisa would get up, hair still slightly tangled and tie sloppily done. She wasn’t sure when she began to splash through the puddles rather than calmly tiptoeing around them. On some days she stopped carrying her umbrella with her completely the second she entered the park.

He was still there, every time she came. With each passing day she caught herself unconsciously sitting just a little closer to him. Small talk filled the minutes, from greeting, talk of school, and sometimes family. She hated to admit it, but sitting with him and chatting was one of the only highlights of her day. Hot chocolates and coffees soon joined the cans of beer. He had awfully strange viewpoints, just like her. He was much better at this whole socializing thing than her- he always smiles, asks the right questions on cue, and sometimes adds in a polite comment here and there. That man could make anything that came out of her mouth sound interesting. Never had she met someone who could actually make her want to keep talking. Every time he saw her arrive, a fond smile would find his face as he waved.

But that was only on rainy days.

“Do you even know how late you are?” One boy sneered to her one day as she pulled her chair back during literature class.

“You understand why I’ve called you here, right, Nanase-san?” Amakata-sensei frowned at her the next time she finally showed up. After that, Haru made sure to get all the mail sorted and unread letters began to pile up from under her bed. Unanswered messages flooded into her barely-used cell phone, so she kept it off at all times.

Even so, and if not more than ever, she wanted- _needed_ to go to that place. Apparently it wasn’t socially acceptable to put mackerel in sandwiches, so she ended up making another one for him. The face he made whenever she offered him food was really quite rewarding. The way he would light up at first before he’d grin, the upturning of his eyes as that strangely-melodic voice would thank her. He always sounded like he couldn’t believe someone would give anything to him, like he didn’t think he was worthy of it. After a few times, she caught herself with the smallest smile on her face. The urge to know more about him grew with every unplanned meeting, yet she could never get the questions out right. It seemed too awkward- surely it was too late to be asking about him now. That would ruin the comfortable atmosphere they had with each other. Plus, how do you even begin a question like that? Though she wanted to know, she managed to avoid the thought most of the time. But it still vaguely lingered in a corner of her messy mind. It had stayed there ever since the day he noticed her shoes.

“A shoemaker?” He said as they stood out in the rain, just by the river’s edge. He’d turned his face down to look properly at her while holding his red umbrella above them.

“Yeah.” She stared intently at the ripples streaking across the water’s surface before meeting his gaze with a sideways glance. He didn’t seem weirded out by it, just… curious. He was always like this whenever she had something to say. And when she couldn’t find the words, he would for her. But this was different- she was confessing her hopes for her future _to_ him. This wasn’t something he could guess on. And more importantly, she’d never told anyone this, not even Nagisa. Why she decided to make him the first, she didn’t know. It felt like she’d given away a secluded part of herself, leaving her feeling vulnerable.

“I like designing and making shoes.” Haruka awkwardly finished.

“Ah, I see.” He gave her a warm smile, and a strange, flustered sensation coursed through her all the way down to her toes. “So that’s what you’re always drawing here.” Seeing her calm yet slightly disgruntled expression, he added: “I don’t think it’s strange at all.”

Trying not to let any unwanted emotions work their way on, she looked down at her moccasins. “I want to make it my career. If I can.” She tacked on the last sentence a bit too quickly, but he didn’t take his gaze off of her for a while and just smiled again.

“I’m sure you will.”

“You’re just saying that,” She wished she’d said. But she didn’t. Maybe because he sounded so sincere, but deep down she knew why.

She wanted to believe it. She had been waiting for those words her whole life.

That dawned on her for the first time the next second their eyes met. Someone had faith in her. The very thought spurred her on, and then the days seemed to speed by twice as fast.

Haru never once allowed herself to rest. She shoved school away, and soon the rushing sink in the restaurant kitchen filled most of her hours. Each paycheck was safely stowed away. Despite the chances, saving up enough money for a vocational school was her top and only priority.

While she wasn’t rushing back and forth between work, tracing and measuring designs and bringing them to life while avoiding school, she realized something else.

Evenings, when her head would hit the pillow.

Mornings, in the moment her eyes would open.

Without even noticing, she had begun praying for the rain to come to her.

Because on sunny days, those suffocating moments she spent trapped in that prison, she found herself coming to a standstill- like a clock with broken gears or an hourglass running out of sand. As she would blankly stare out of the window of her literature classroom, it felt as though she were drowning and trying to claw her way to the surface. She was in such a trapped, childish place, filled with nothing but impatience.

For a while, she was actually jealous of the man. He had no idea how desperate she was to get out of this place, and yet he went about skipping work and drinking beer like he was asking for an early retirement. How he wasn’t fired from that job of his yet was completely beyond her; but she would give anything to just to be in the same position as him.

Sometimes she didn’t even feel worth his time. They seemed to be on completely different borderlines between child and adult- a line she couldn’t wait to cross. But during those precious, rainy moments, that border seemed to dissolve, leaving them both as equals. Of course, he existed in a world of busy, working adults, a place so very far away from where she was struggling to free herself from. Even so, the curiosity within her swelled with each passing day.

In her eyes, he represented nothing less than all the secrets the world had to hide.

At that point, there were only two things certain in her mind.

One- that to him, she was just some seventeen-year-old kid with an impossible goal and made shoes.

And two: Making those shoes was the only thing that would lead her out of this place.

* * *

 

That day, something’s off. Usually he’s already here by the time she arrives- this is the first time he’s been late. Only a few weeks ago she would have preferred it this way, but now, his absence leaves the rain sounding a bit too loud. Regardless, she stays and sketches until the hopeful sound of splashing footsteps reaches her ears. Her head perks up, and the muscles in her face relax at the sight of him walking up with his red umbrella. This time he’s actually wearing an entire suit, rather than parts of it. A bit of a distracted smile lingers on his features, but it softens when he sees her.

“Good morning.” He greets.

She has to fight the urge to grin back. “Good morning.” She answers as he takes his hand out of his pocket and closes his umbrella. “I thought you might not show up today. It’s a miracle you haven’t been fired yet, huh?” He just laughs a bit in reply, coming under the roof of the gazebo while Haru brushes a few eraser bits off the page.

A tall shadow leans over her and the drawings, and she jumps a bit. “Wow, is that a shoe design?”

In a millisecond the cover is slapped back over in a silent yet defensive answer, embarrassment and surprise threatening to flush her cheeks.

“Hm? I can’t see?” He asks, drawing back a little with a thoughtful look, though the usual air of gentleness is still there.

“It’s nothing special.” She calmly insists, hiding behind her hair. This close, she can smell a hint of cologne.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” Haruka tries not to grunt out her words, and tilts her chin to his usual seat. “Just sit down already.” At this, he chuckles again, though she doesn’t think she said anything remotely funny.

When she stars to untie the blue handkerchief wrapped around her lunch box, he says, “Oh, have you not eaten breakfast yet?”

“I am now.” She says, taking off the lid and setting it beside her. Unsure of how to ask, the words seem to awkwardly putter out of her mouth. “I made too much today, so if you want, you can have some.”

That mellow smile returns while he takes a clear box out of his backpack as well. “Thank you, but I’ve brought my own today.” He’s already stripped of his blazer with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up again.

She blinks in surprise, trying to imagine a huge guy like him cooking. All that comes to mind is the image of him knocking everything over with his elbows and nuclear explosions. “Seriously?”

He frowns defensively and pulls out his chopsticks. “What? I cook sometimes too, you know.”

Haru takes a moment to scan over the food. Six egg rolls, three huge rice balls with the tops of them squished from the lid, and some rice and broccoli on the side. From what she can see, the broccoli is burned and the rice of overcooked judging from how mushy it looks. But this man keeps surprising her, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t interested in what he’d made.

Impulsively, she doesn’t say a thing as she leans forward and snares an egg roll in her chopsticks. It seems like the safest option since it doesn’t appear to be visibly mutated on the outside.

“W-Wait, I’m not really that good of a-” He blurts out just as it goes into her mouth.

The first thing to hit her is how outrageously salty it is. It’s fried perfectly, but the second she bites into it, she can’t stop the wrinkling of her nose. The more she chews, the more crumbly it seems to get. Is that corn starch in there? The second her teeth crunch down on an egg shell a muffled noise of distaste comes out of her nose.

“-cook, you know.” He sheepishly finishes, not looking at her out of shame. The next time he turns, a bit of a humiliated pink taints his cheeks while he offers a can of orange juice. “That was your own fault!”

She quickly accepts the drink, guzzling a good third of it before letting a small laugh past her lips.

“W-What? Are you still choking?” His sincere tone makes everything more amusing.

“Sorry.” She finally apologizes, trying to hold back another smile. “It’s… not that bad. Just add less salt. You learned how to do that, right?”

“Stop teasing me already, I get it! I’ll never cook again!”

One last smirk shows up. “I’ll have another, then.”

* * *

Comforted by a full belly and the sound of the rain, it doesn’t take long before she presses her head against the wooden beam next to her and drifts off.

Suddenly the crisp fall air is enveloping her, swaying trees of the park gently blowing in the breeze and hugging her family. She can feel the leaves crunch under her sneakers, her young seven-year-old body tugging Nagisa along the path towards the bench.

“Hurry up.” Haruka says, taking Nagisa’s tiny hand in hers and pulling her ahead.

“Wait, Haru-chan! I’m tired!” She whines, tugging at the beads holding her little pigtail in place on the top of her head.

A fond smile surfaces when she sees her big raspberry eyes shining. “You just walk slow.”

“Haruka, Nagisa, be careful!” Mom calls from behind them. Dad, a man of few words, walks next to her with a ghost of a grin.

When they finally make it to the bench, there’s not enough room so Haruka and Dad stand in front of them while Nagisa sidles up next to Mom as usual. At long last, Dad sets the perfectly wrapped box in Mom’s lap.

“Happy birthday, Mom!” The three of them say in unison, and Mom smiles brightly. “Thank you.” She says as she carefully unties the golden ribbon. “My three babies always get me the best gifts. What could you have gotten me this year?”

Haruka leans in expectantly, eyes glimmering as her hands push on her mother’s knees. Her heart pounds; there’s no other moment more important than this right now. Nagisa giggles, and Mom lifts away the lid.

Sitting nestled in a bed of wrapping is a shining pair of red high heels.

* * *

 

He’d let their conversation drop earlier, but after a long while he looks up from his book and sets his can down next to his side. She’s fallen into a peaceful-looking sleep, head resting against a pillar of the gazebo with her hands and sketchbook still in her lap. With her eyes closed, her lashes look strikingly long. He’s never seen her in such a tranquil state, and his own breathing slows. He leans forward a bit, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Hey,”

His hand creeps down his ankle and presses down gently on the top of his foot.

“Do you think I’m already too late?”

* * *

 

The next day, he’s early again, waving to her in a short denim vest and striped shirt. Since it’s a Sunday, she doesn’t need to wear her uniform either. In a white off-shoulder top and capris, she skips around the puddles and sits down. The action itself seems to soothe her. This welcoming aura of his is something she’s never felt before.

Surprisingly, the first thing he says is, “Here, this is for you.” He smiles widely as he gives her a wrapped, square package.

Haruka blinks, hesitating for a second before accepting it. It feels thick and a bit heavy in her hands. “What is it?”

“Well, I’ve always ended up eating your food. And I just thought you’d want a little help.” His eyes upturn as he says so, and she carefully tears off the wrapping paper.

Her breathing stops for a moment, heart skipping a beat. A broad, smooth book rests in her hands, a row of shoes printed on the cover. No way. “Handmade Shoes for Intermediate Crafters?” She reads aloud. Haru only manages to keep the excited smile at bay, but completely unaware of the wonderstruck sparkling of her eyes. Just judging from the pristine condition, it’s brand new, and nowhere near cheap. This is a luxury she and Nagisa would never be able to afford, even with what little money they could scrape together in a month. She’d never told him she wanted it- this was a pure act of kindness and nothing more. Since when was the last time anyone had done something like this for her?

Stunned, she quickly lifts her head up. “This was expensive, wasn’t it?” He just waves it off. “Thank you.” She sincerely thanks him, hoping her face reflects at least a bit of her appreciation.

A light laugh leaves his lips; it’s clear he’s satisfied. “Mm, it’s nothing. I’m glad you like it.”

Unable to hold back, her heart swells and leaps as she eagerly flips through the book. Her breath is completely taken away- pages upon pages of drawings, instructions, materials, design tips for all sorts of shoes. A sudden rush of hope and determination courses through her. Yes. She can do this. With the right designs, tools, amount of money, and now this precious book, why should she count herself out of a vocational school?

Her mind flicks back to design eighty-six, and the fuse fizzles out. But…

Refusing to let the chance slip, she looks up again. “Uh, I’m trying to make a pair of shoes right now.” Cursing the higher pitch of her voice, she drops her gaze.

“That’s great,” He earnestly praises, leaning forward a bit. “A pair for yourself?”

She fidgets and combs her fingers through her hair. “I don’t know whose yet.” Trying to keep her face even, she mumbles the last words. “They’re… men’s shoes.” This time, he’s the one to blink in shock, but she forces herself to finish. “But I haven’t been able to get them right.” Her eyes travel to his feet before cautiously moving up to his face. He stares down at his lap, conflict and consideration mixing in his expression. Maybe it’s just her imagination, but he looks a bit embarrassed himself. That took courage to say.

After a minute of silence, he slips off his shoes and slowly rests his heel on the wood in front of her.

Warning bells go off in her head, heartbeat quickening. So he was really going to do this for her? Sure, she’d been the one to ask, but where was she supposed to go from here? She’d never done this before, more or less touched the anatomy of a male in the last six years. Haru takes two seconds to glance from side to side. This must look incredibly weird from anyone else’s perspective, but this actually meant a lot to her. Plus it is pretty early in the morning; nobody should be here until noon, at least.

Holding a breath tight in her chest, she tries to ignore the patient eyes on her and reaches forward. Unfortunately, her hand wavers, so she ends up gently poking his toe rather than professionally taking it in both hands or something. Unsure of what else to do, she softly picks up his foot and pulls it a bit closer to her, trying to get used to the size, shape, and feel of it. Since he’s a grown man, it’s rather large, but it’s nothing she can’t work with. Her palms glide across the warm skin, occasionally pressing her fingers into the sides and soles of his foot. She had no idea it could be so different from her own.

Pushing aside her thoughts, she lets the sound of rushing water and the chirping of cicadas lull her into a comatose state. She feels her muscles relax as she focuses entirely on remembering the sensation, the look and structure. A few moments pass before she lightly sets the sole of his foot back on the bench as if it might break.

And finally, design number eighty-six is filled.

Measurements and sketches fly across the page. After pressing a ruler along the sides and tightening the measuring tape, she quietly asks: “Can you stand on the bench for a bit?” Haruka doesn’t even think about what she says or does anymore.

He nods and hums in response, carefully lifting himself up. He’s so tall that he has to bend down a little so his head won’t bump against the gazebo’s roof. She gently eases his foot to the center of the paper, gears in her mind turning. Tucking back a stray lock of hair, she steadies the top of his foot with a hand while tracing the outline of it with a pencil in the opposite. She’s never felt so confident before; every action she makes feels like it’s perfectly planned and smooth- she doesn’t falter at all.

The one detail to bring her consciousness back is a single beam of sunlight dancing on the boards next to her hands. Just as her pencil meets the back of his heel, a cool breeze blows through the park, causing her hair to come untucked again and flutter around her face.

“You know,”

At the soft sound of his voice, she slowly looks up to meet his eyes. He looks so calm and peaceful, like he was watching something sleeping. A small, affectionate smile compliments his half-lidded eyes, and all the air leaves her lungs as the wind tousles his hair and clothing. She doesn’t dare breathe, not if it means missing his next words.

The clouds behind them part, letting the morning sunshine seep through. Every drop of rain seems to sparkle and catch a ray of light before it falls. Amongst the trees, rain, and sunlight, the green-eyed man’s entire body seems to glow delicately. He looks like some sort of mythical creature, something much too breathtaking to exist in this world. The only noises she wants to hear is that of the cicadas, rain, and his voice- and she receives just that.

Then she realizes: This is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

“Before I knew it,” He blinks calmly, like he’s trying to hypnotize her, which he already has. One of his hands holds onto a ceiling beam and she immerses herself into the atmosphere while hanging onto his every word. “I couldn’t walk anymore.”

It’s like she’s fallen into a dream. Haruka continues to stare, confusion sinking in. Her lips part, uncaring of her words but only knowing that she has to respond, has to know: “Are you talking about your job?” She doesn’t even remember answering; it just sounded like the only thing she could say, and it had suddenly slipped out. This man had stripped her completely bare, every wall melted and leaving her utterly awestruck.

A ghost of a laugh leaves him, but the serenity doesn’t in the slightest. “Mmhm. About a lot of things.”

After that, he goes quiet, but the questions are aching to come out. But now, at a time like this…

She swallows her words and turns back to the outline, going over the lighter marks again. Honestly she knows she doesn’t need to, but she doesn’t want to let him go yet- she wants to keep her hand on his skin. A prickling sensation tells her that if she lets go of him, he’ll slip away. Just like her mother, just like her father, just like sand between her fingers.

At this point, one more thought is added to the list of things she knows for sure.

She doesn’t know anything about this man.

His job, his age, what worries he carries.

Not even his name.

Even so, she can’t help but be drawn to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Okay. This is extremely late.   
> Sorree.  
> c:  
> I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but maybe if you guys leave some kudos or comments it'll be up a little faster.   
> *winkyface*  
> So yeah. Leave comments and stuff. I'd really love to hear from any new muffins.   
> c:


	4. Silent Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The distance increases.

Almost as if it never happened, the rainy season ended. The clouds didn't allow a single drop to pass through them, and the sun took its place, beating everything below it in heat. Every time she opened her curtains, the only thing she could think of was how the sky must have cried itself out.

Naturally, a day didn't pass when he didn't cross her mind. In fact, it was as though the sky was reminding her of him with every day that passed. But even so, she couldn't allow herself to grind to a halt again. Nagisa moved out, and the sun was bent on returning over and over.

The days of vacation seemed to melt together- Haruka no longer had a sense of time, only knowing when to get up, work, eat, make shoes, and sleep. That was her life for that long month, and for all she knew, her only purposes in life.

Back and forth she went like a metronome- the sight of her hands scrubbing plates under a sink, taking out the trash, wiping tables at the food court- all of it was drilled thoroughly into her head. Throughout all of this, she made sure to keep it well out of Nagisa's reach.

"Thank you very much for your help today, Haruka-senpai." Rei told her on the day she and Nagisa lugged over boxes and boxes of all her things into a rather spacious guest room. He bowed and offered a glass of cold water, which she gratefully accepted. The sun was already going down, and she rested herself onto a large box. "No problem."  
 She wiped the sewat from her brow and glanced around the room, washed over with orange light. "Your house is pretty big."

"Yes, but we don't use this room often. I think Nagisa-san will enjoy living here."

"Yeah." Haru nodded, though she felt a bit of a sting to her pride. "Take care of Nagisa for me. I'll be leaving her to you."

Rei confidently pushed up his red frames with a wide grin. "Yes! Leave everything to me!" His expression calmed, and he gave her a polite smile. "Ah, that's right. Would you like to join us for dinner tonight?"

She shook her head with a faint smile of her own. "Sorry, but I've gotta go to work now."

"Eh?" Violet irises blinked in surprise. "But it's already six PM. That's awfully late. Do make sure you're not fatiguing yourself."

"I"ll be fine." At the front door she bowed and gave Nagisa a hug. "See you later, Nagisa, Rei."

"Bye-bye, Haru-chan! Come visit soon!" The blonde waved happily with a bar of strawberry ice cream in one hand. She gave her a small grin. Rei was going to need a lot more of those for blackmailing purposes. Rei also smiled and waved along until she pulled on her moccasins and flew out the door.

"She's a very reliable person, isn't she?" The bespectacled teen noted after she left. "When I first met her, I didn't think she was capable of being your caretaker, but I suppose I was mistaken."

"Yup!" Nagisa nodded, rocking back and forth on her heels. "That's Haru-chan for you. She always picks up the slack for Mom. I just wish she knew how to loosen up a bit, y'know? She's so caught up in her work that I can't even keep up with her anymore." She paused to sigh before playfully linking arms with her boyfriend. "Hey, Rei-chan. Did you notice her shoes?" When he quirked an eyebrow, she giggled. "They're handmade!"

"Really?" He blinked again, staring down at her.

She just laughed. "Just some old moccasins, though."

"Not at all." His eyes shone in admiration. "The art of crafting shoes... It's the first time I've heard of such a talent from someone only a year older than me. How beautiful."

Nagisa tugged herself closer to him, snuggling up to his arm with a smirk. "Is that the only thing you find beautiful about my sister?"

"W-What?!" He jumped in shock, sloppily shoving up his glasses to hide the blooming red beginning to surface on his cheeks. "Y-Yes, of course that's all, why would you ask such a thing?!"

Feigning an injury, she dramatically pressed her hand into her heart. "Owww, Rei-chan, that was mean! Ice cold! Are you going so far as to say that my own older sister is hideous?"

"N-No, not in the slightest! She's... she's very beautiful as well." Rei stared down at their feet, mumbling out the last words. His cheeks burned an interesting shade of pink.

With a bright laugh, Nagisa stepped away and turned to face him with her hands behind her back. "I know. Are you going so far as to say that you'll end up falling into a shoujo love triangle with her and me?"

Still red-faced, he heaved out a frustrated sigh. "How long do you intend on asking all these impulsive questions?" He averted his gaze. "If you must know, the answer is no, obviously."

"Why's that?" She prompted and met his eyes by going on her tiptoes.

Giving up, he leaned down to kiss her softly on the forehead, nose, cheek, and finally, on the mouth.

"Though she may be beautiful, she is not born on the first of August, she is not a Leo, and her favorite food is not strawberry shortcake. She doesn't hate math, peppers, or onions, and didn't address me as Rei-chan the second time we met." He pressed one last kiss against the tip of her nose while smoothing her hair back and smiling fondly.

"And her first name is not Nagisa."

* * *

 

The rainless days continued on and on, and the weeks of summer vacation dragged on. She had no excuse to go to that place, though her feet still faltered every time she passed by the station gates. It was true that she missed him, but surely it was clinging onto those selfish feelings that were keeping her stuck as a little kid.

Even so, she could still smell a faint hint of cologne every time she flipped his book open.

And before she knew it, September returned.

* * *

 

It may have only been a month, but she already felt like she was several years too early to come back here. Her course of action still remained the same for the most part- skip morning to work and go to the last two periods, then attend the first two periods the next day and and leave during lunch to work. She alternated between those two days, figuring she should try a _bit_ harder for Nagisa's sake. And this way she could fit in part-time work and school together.

It wasn't as if there was any point in going _there_ , either.

Alone once again, she lets out a small sigh out of her nose as the door of her shoe locker shuts. Maybe she should've skipped the first week, after all. Somehow she doesn't feel ready, like the steady metronome of her summer days have been knocked upside down. Everything's totally off beat. Suddenly she wished more than anything for the rainy season to come back to her.

She glances at the carefree atmosphere around her, catching bits and pieces of conversations as she aimlessly wanders the hallways.

"Man, I've got lit easy this year!"

"That's 'cause Nakahara's a pushover."

"It's kinda like Tsukishima."

"How could you have gotten that mixed up for a week?"

She fights off the distasteful scowl threatening to make an entrance. How are they so ignorant? Now she just looks stupid for even trying so hard for her future. But she's not going to back down at a time like this and stoop to their level, because she's decided now.

Haru raises her chin and pushed her shoulders back a bit, taking longer strides than before.

All the shoes she's going to make are ones that will make him want to stand up and start walking again.

The scuffing of her heels against the staircase is the only sound for a while before a familiar voice calls out to her, catching her just as she reaches the first floor of the school.

"Haruka-senpai!"

It startles her somewhat, but her body relaxes when she sees who it belongs to. She turns to see the ever-energetic Matsuoka siblings bounding down the stairs to see her.

"Yo, Haru!" Rin throws in a greeting too, flashing her a trademark shark grin. They always resembled each other closely- they share the same maroon hair and bright magenta eyes. The only difference is the colour of their ties and their height and outfits- the obvious things. This is aspect, Haru's a bit envious. Getting disapproving looks from elders when she and Nagisa walk beside each other is extremely tiring, and frankly, incredibly embarrassing. One thing's for sure- nobody will have any trouble differentiating the Matsuokas anytime soon.

She and the siblings have a bit of a strange history- neither of them openly stated that they were friends at any given point. Since Rin was in the same grade, they just ended up partnering up with each other for gym class and the like without any sort of agreement. Last year when she and Rin had pulled themselves out of the pool, she stood up to see Gou hiding behind the door with a galaxy sparkling in her eyes.

And thus, this tiny little connection formed.

A faint smile finds her lips. It feels like it's been an eternity since they whirlwinded into her life- maybe it's a hereditary thing. "Hey. Looks like you guys got a tan."

Gou nods happily, long ponytailed hair bouncing with the motion. "Yup! We went to the beach a bunch of times!"

"YOu're still pale as ever, I see." Rin scoffs, and his face is just begging for a challenge. Or a punch. "So? What'd you do over summer break? Kept yourself in shape, I hope, or you won't be able to life me up next P.E. class."

"You talk big for a tiny man, Rin." Haru calmly retorts, and plows on the second she sees a reaction. "Nothing much. I worked part-time."

"The whole time?" The younger girl blinks in surprise. Even Rin swallows his snarky comeback to lead the trio towards the staff room hallway.

"Seriously? Jeez. That's a pretty pathetic way to spend your high school years. School, work, chores, school, work, chores." Rin muses with a bit of a haughty tone to his voice. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"I don't wanna hear that from someone who spends his waking hours doing sit-ups." She replies without skipping a beat, and lets Gou take the opportunity to ogle his triceps. His face flushes, definitely disapproving of his sister telling Haru about his daily work-out routine.

"Listen here, you ass-"

"Besides, I do skip sometimes." The raven informs him matter-of-fact and shuts her eyes as she says so.

"Ah, now that you mention it, you are late pretty often, aren't you, Haruka-senpai?" Gou's curious gaze lands on her.

"Yeah." Rin gives a sneer and slugs her in the arm. "This girl never shows up for first or second period whenever it rains. What's up with that, anyway?" Ah, so he actually took the time to notice. How sweet.

"It's a chronic condition. Your annoying competitiveness intensifies on rainy days, and everyone in the subway stops to marvel at it. So I get stuck and can't make it to school."

"Ah, shut up already!" An angry fist lands on the top of her head, but she just blinks. "I'm not your gym partner for track next class, then!" The hit definitely isn't meant to hurt, but more of a warning if anything.

Just as they pass, the staff room door opens and two teachers step out into the hallway and past them, walking in opposite directions.

Time slows the next moment her eyes open. They catch a vibrant green hue and a fluttering strip of maroon before the tiniest hint of cologne reaches her nose.

Her heart leaps and her ankles freeze, too stunned to even turn around.

No way. It can't be.

Her lips part as if to yell out something, but she shrinks back upon remembering that she doesn't even have a name or anything to call. A solid wall seemed to separate the two, once again reminding her that they were total strangers, and that whatever it was they had meant nothing.

Still too shaken by that sudden realization, Gou fills in for her by quickly looking over her shoulder. Her eyes widen, and she softly says, "Tachibana-sensei?" Haru's dumbstruck mind messily puts the two together- so she must have noticed him too, but why did Gou know?

"Oi, Gou-!" Rin can't even pull her back in time since she's already running towards the man. What? What's happening? Why is he here? She can't process any of this.

"Tachibana-sensei!" She calls one more time, but the name seems to bounce around the inside of her skull rather than stick to it. The most she can do is turn her body to at least watch what's going on. Gou had come to a stop in front of him and had to lift her head to meet his eyes. But why does she look so worried? Something bad's not about to happen, right?

"Matsuoka-san." He turns to face her properly, and her train of thought crumbles.His voice. It's him, without a doubt. His suit is actually on properly and he's hugging a stack of papers to his chest, but it's him. It's definitely him, and he looks just as surprised as the redhead in front of him.

The lead finally connects. That's why she could've sworn she'd seen him before on the day they'd first met in the park. They had all along. Those green eyes, the voice, face, tall stature. In one split second, it clicks. And it almost makes too much sense. Now her knees feel a bit weak.

Suddenly she feels ridiculously stupid. She had been wanting to see him for so long, and yet he had been here the whole time? He'd been so much closer than she'd ever bothered to notice, and now he had just appeared out of nowhere. But why today, of all days?

Then nothing but confusion fills her. Had he known all along, but lied on the first day? Why was he only here today, where had he been the whole time she was here? Did he honestly not know she was a student? No, that's not possible. She shakes her head a little to try to convince herself. She'd worn her uniform and school blazer multiple times. There's no way he didn't know. So, why...?

Before she can continue mentally interrogating everything, four other girls are already circled around him, somewhat frantic and calling his name. Haruka doesn't recognize any of their faces, but then she sees Amakata-sensei emerge from the crowd.

"Matsuoka-san, you girls too. Head to your classes, please." She disapprovingly frowns and tries to bat the girls away.

"But-" Gou protests.

"I'm really sorry, everyone." The man hurriedly apologizes, trying to make eye contact with whoever he can. The students look so concerned and on the verge of tears, like they can't believe he actually showed up.

"I'll be here until after fifth period." He reassuringly says, making sure to put on a smile and look at everyone. "After that, I'd be happy to. Okay?"

Maybe it's just her imagination or wishful thinking, but she swears their eyes met just now. It feel like her lungs have shrunken five times smaller than usual.

She doesn't notice Rin until he comes beside her and quietly speaks again.

"Makoto... came to school?"

* * *

 

Several hours later, and not even the sensation of the water enveloping her can pull the unease out of her, though it certainly helps cool her nerves. Rather than exiting the pool, she and Rin lazily floated around after their last block, which happened to be gym. After racing to see who would do the most laps in three minutes, they simply lazed around on their backs in the cool water while watching the sky dye itself a palette of oranges and reds. Twenty minutes of comfortable silence ensued before Gou found them. Nobody seemed to question anything, and Rin sighed.

"So... you never heard about Makoto quitting?" A bit of splashing echoes in her ears- Rin's probably pushing his hair from his face the way he always does when he can't seem to speak properly. Taking a clue from him, she pulls the elastic from her black locks, letting them fall around her face.

"No." She answers, staring straight up at the clouds. Given her current predicament, she feels unnaturally calm. The water soothes her sore muscles, and the warm sunlight begins to dry her stomach and cheeks. She wouldn't mind just staying like this forever, but forces herself to continue. "I don't even know who he is." The top of Rin's head bumps against hers lightly, but neither of them move. Gou hugs her knees to her chest and leans against the fence, face contorted in guilt and worry. It's a rare look for her.

"He was always having trouble with the third-years." Rin explains. "Some girl tried getting with him when she already had a boyfriend, so then she got all heartbroken and the guy she _was_ with got pissed. As payback, both of them started a shit ton of rumors about him having an affair with a student." More splashing- is he yanking at those strands of hair on his forehead? "Geez. What a load 'a bull. Talk about irony." There's real irritation in his voice and he seems unusually stoic about it. Normally he would've exploded by now.

"But Tachibana-sensei didn't do anything wrong!" Gou abruptly burst out, probably in Rin's stead. "It's not fair! He almost got fired several times. Those third-years spread so many rumors even his parents heard about them! It's not even his fault." Her voice cracks, and Haru sees her blink away a few tears before burying her face back into her arms.

"Makoto's just too _nice_ all the goddamn time." Rin heaves out a heavy sigh. "He should've taken it to the police or pressed harassment charges or something."

"We told Amakata-sensei and Sasabe-sensei over and over again!" Gou argues, wiping her face with a sleeve. "But they didn't do anything because they didn't want to make trouble for the school in public!"

Haruka listens intently, needing to know everything she can. Even now, so many questions about him still remain, but it's clear that there's not much else either of them know. She watches a crow sail out of her vision before plunging under the water's surface and popping her head up by Gou's feet. She swings her head side to side to flick away the drops clinging to her hair and cheeks.

"Oi, Haru. What's wrong?" Rin calls, pushing himself towards the wall as well.

"Haruka-senpai?"

"Those third-years."

The black-haired girl lifts her wet face up to look at Gou, and behind her calm exterior her eyes are flashing from the pit of steel-hot rage boiling in her stomach.

"Tell me their names."

The day after, she watches from her literature class desk, leaning her chin into her palm. The sun is sinking below the horizon now, painting the world in crimson. She doesn't move an inch until she sees Makoto leave the building. It doesn't take long before another group of first and second-years run up to him. Today must be his last day.

it's hard to see their faces; from the second floor, they all look so tiny. But from the crowd, she can just make out Gou, Rin, and Makoto's faces. The teacher has his hand on her shoulder while Gou covers her face with her own. She's crying, no doubt, judging from the scowl on Rin's face and the teacher's sad smile. Surely all the other girls look the same. Nobody thinks this is fair.

Haru's fingers reach out to touch the glass, thoughts running wildly through her brain. Even if they do meet again, what can she possibly say Her heart shoots down the idea before she can even dwell on it for a second longer. The chances were small enough as they were. With him quitting and the rainy season completely past them, there's no way they could ever see each other again.

Her hand slips from the window, gaze falling to her shoes. She wishes it was her moccasins, and at the same time she doesn't. All she would hear is his voice telling her she would definitely reach her dream.

She hates this. Her chest feels tight and stricken by disbelief.

Maybe it'll just have to end this way.

But she's not going to let it go unanswered.

The legs of her chair scrape against the floors as the stands up and briskly walks down the darkening hallways. Haruka doesn't even think of where she's going. Her feet just seem to carry her along like they're completely detached from her body. But she doesn't stop until she reached classroom 3-C.

"If you go there after school, you should find Hanamura Chigusa and Mikoshiba Seijuurou. That's where they talk until the school closes." Gou had said, knitting her brows as she recalled.

"Why do you care?" Rin grunted out and lifted himself out of the water. His tone went solemn. "Don't tell me you're planning on doing something stupid, Haru."

"Maybe. Maybe not. It has nothing to do with you, anyway." She dismissively told him and sank back under the water again.

Haru closes her eyes to mutter softly. "Sorry, Rin." Opening them again, she looks up to confirm the sign hanging above her. Class 3-C.

"Yeah, but he totally sucks at it." A voice says on the other side of the door. It's quite high-pitched, definitely a female's. Is that her?

"You're so cruel." Another says teasingly.

"You go through 'em fast, don't you Chigusa?" Aha. So she is in there.

For some reason, she doesn't feel a single prick of fear. The bubbling anger leeches all of it out of her system. She slides the door open, and a small chorus of "Huh?"s sound before all the heads turn to her.

They're huddled in the back corner of the room, and it's clear right off the bat who her target is. A fair-skinned girl with curly caramel hair and sea green eyes is the only one seated in the desk as if it were a throne, and her subordinates are gathered around her. One much taller teen with bright red hair stands behind her protectively. There's one other boy and a girl there too, but she completely ignores them as she pushes chairs aside to reach them. Her whole body feels numb.

"What do you want, frosh?" One boy sneers, and she almost laughs because of the obvious lack of notice to the green tie around her neck. Well, not that it matters. She doesn't have the time to waste on colourblind servants.

Haruka stares down at the brunette, who had paused her hair-twirling to glare back at her.

"You're third-year Hanamura Chigusa. Right?" Her voice is low and steady, trying to choose her words carefully. She'll have to be forceful but calm if she wants answers.

There's a moment of silence, and Chigusa quirks an eyebrow. Her stomach twists. Everything about her, especially that condescending look, is irritating, and it gets harder to hold her temper. "Who the hell are you?"

Haru takes a slow, deep breath in an attempt to calm her boiling blood.

"It looks like Tachibana-sensei is quitting." She can barely keep the accusing tone at bay, but her eyes narrow as she says so.

"Hah?" She groans, disbelief twisting her face as she scowls. "Like I care about that slut of a tranny."

White flashes across her vision. The fuse snaps. Her hand raises, and her palm whips across her face with as much strength as she can muster in a fit of fury. Chigusa's head snaps to the side from the brunt impact, and a shocked sound escapes her.

She's not sure what to make of the situation when she doesn't feel a sting of regret at all. Either way, it's too late to apologize since her wrist is abruptly grabbed by the boy who had first spoken to her.

"Hey!" He barks, but she's still silently fuming. Nothing anyone says registers in her mind. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She can't bring herself to care, and tries to pry him off by digging her nails into his skin. With a yelp and more cursing, his grip retreats.

She turns when a tall shadow looms over her. The huge redhead- Seijuurou, if she remembers correctly- had walked out from behind the desk to stare her down with burning golden eyes. His broad chest and shoulders seem to make him stand five times bigger than his actual stature, and she takes a half-step back before she can stop herself. The fear that she had managed to block out so easily just moments ago starts to pour over her and bite into her skin. A cold sweat breaks out, but she refuses to back down any further. She glowers back at him despite the furious slamming of her heart against her ribcage.

But then she blinks and suddenly she's flying backwards into a desk and she can hear the air leaving her body as something resembling a sack of bricks slams right into her right cheek. While she slowly lifts her pounding head, she comes to the vague realization that it was his fist.

The world zooms in and out of focus. All the lights spin and twist, and her vision is blurred. She can just barely see the shapes of the people around her. Her hit cheek throbs with every strained breath from where she lies in a dumbfounded heap on the floor. In a split second she's confused, mentally questioning everything again. She'd never been hit so hard before and it feels like her nerves are disconnected from each other. What's going on?"

"The hell did you come here for?" Seijuurou growls and cracks his knuckles. 

His disgusted voice pulls her back from reality, and her body burns in shame. Her ears are ringing, but she can almost hear the mocking laughs of the people around her. However, not once does she ever ask herself if what's she's doing is worth it.

She pulls her weary body up onto its knees, wobbling on the balls of her feet. A bitter taste touches her tongue, and it takes a while before it sinks in that it's most likely her own blood.

For a few seconds, all the blood rushes to her head, and any logical plan of action she had in mind flings itself out of her mental state. With a feral growl that shocks even her, she bolts from the floor and blindly grabs onto his legs.

There's a bit of a struggle. He recoils in surprise and tries to shake her off as if she were a poisonous leech. Her original plan had been to stand up and aim for his crotch, but she realized too late that standing was practically impossible given how disoriented she was. But she couldn't stand getting up without doing virtually nothing, so she did tht e first thing that came to mind and hoped it would hurt somehow. It's a messy, disjointed style of fighting, one that a child would use with no sort of reason or planning.

Even though her whole body hurts, clinging onto him is something she's still definitely capable of doing. She grits her teeth, holding onto his pant legs for dear life. Somehow it feels like she's wrestling with a rabid bear rather than a human.

"What the fu- Get off!" The taller male grunts in exertion, still thrashing furiously against Haruka's vice-like grip. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Makoto's face appears. He's smiling gently, like he always is, and a burst of rage courses through her bloodstream. Her hair is tangled and thrown all over her face, and a stream of crimson runs over her chin.

Something that looks like a predatory scowl crosses over his features. Refusing to open his mouth, he lets out a loud yell, and his knee comes into harsh contact with her gut.

An electric shock paralyzes her from head to toe, and she can feel her muscles go slack. The pain it brings is nothing like she's ever experienced before. Her throat shuts off, cutting off the oxygen to her lungs. 

Unable to stand, more or less breathe, she collapses to the floor in a choking fit. Her entire face feels like it's swelling up, and every fiber in her body burns in humiliation.

A shock runs through her, rendering her both speechless and immobile.

What did she think she could do?

Her chin lifts to see Seijuurou looming over her tiny body like some sort of predator. She hadn't noticed when her arms had started shaking.

This was how the world worked, wasn't it?

Whatever muscle was left in her legs had completely dissolved. Putting weight on them was useless, but her arms could barely hold up her upper body either.

The voice of the boy who had grabbed her wrist earlier sounded a million miles away. "What're you doing, Seijuurou? Hurry up and kick her out! Quit playing around!"

Survival of the fittest.

Her arms give out trying to hold her body weight, and the back of her head knocks painfully against the ground. All she can do is push herself backwards, but the room feels like it's imploding. No matter where she turns, she's going to hit a wall.

The strong feed on the weak.

But she isn't strong.

She's literally served herself to the predator on a silver platter.

For what seems like an eternity, that thought crushes down on her entire body as despair drowns out every sensation in her nerves until all that's left is a numbing pain. Even as she's kicked in the gut and crashes into the hallway wall and left gasping for air, all of it feels like is a dull throb.

Her vision is blurred, but she can see it from where she lies helplessly. An orange beam of sunlight, dancing beside her hand.

The sunset is so pretty.

"Who the hell are you?" Seijuurou's voice rips her from her peaceful reverie as his black shoes enter her sight. "Fallen for that manwhore?"

A spark of aggravation causes her finger to twitch.

"Poor thing, he must've tricked you." Chigusa is up and standing in the doorway, joining in on the sneering. "How much was he paying you for a night?"

Her head pounds with her quickening heartbeat as her blood begins to turn to a raging lava.

"But hey, he might actually go for her now. Since he ain't a teacher anymore." The first boy laughs. "You can't expect a piece of shit to teach for shit, anyway."

Her palms slap against the floor, muscles rippling and about to melt from their intense shaking. Tangled black locks slide to the ground like an ebony curtain.

"Whose fault... do you think that is?" Her throat feels shirveled and raw, and it hurts to even grit the words out. Haruka's chest heaves wildly as her torso begins to rise off the ground.

"Hah?" Chigusa mock-gasps, sounding as though she were wrongly accused of murder. "What's with that pathetic tone? You ought to be thanking us, you little tramp."

A lethal growl leaves her throat as she crawls to her knees and forces her wobbling body to stand.

The last thing she remembers is Chigusa's smug face and her fist rising before everything goes white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, after months of utter silence and procrastination, I have returned from the ashes of school and more procrastination to bring you yet another chapter of my short fic! I'm really sorry for the lack in updates recently, things have been hectic recently and to be honest this fic wasn't the first thing on my list of priorities for a while now. But, I'll do my best from now on to keep this thing properly updated until the end, so I hope you continue to stick around until then. v u v  
> Please do leave kudos and comments, my muffins, I would greatly appreciate it if you did. :)


	5. The Afternoon of a Rainy Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She'll stay with him, even if the rain comes not.

Simple moccasin flats press along the dry bridge to the park, hums of distant trains and cars mixing with her thoughts. Her gaze flickers to her feet, then to the graying clouds over her head. The bruises on her body and bandages on her face must look strikingly hideous against the serenity of the green enveloping her. It's been a month and a half, and yet it feels like it was just yesterday she'd set foot here and sat with him. 

Even so, she's waiting for the rain. 

Because she knows the right answer now. 

When her eyes catch a glimpse of a tall figure standing by the river's edge, her mind goes blank and her uniform skirt flutters behind her.

Her heart pounds. Her palms are sweaty. She feels like she's going to burst from the words tangling in her throat, dying to come out.

Today, there's nothing to hide. There's nothing more to know. Today, she is simply dressed in a button-up shirt, tie, skirt, and socks. Today, she is just Nanase Haruka.

Today, she's ready to face him one more time.

Pants burst from her lips as she stares at his turned back. Unwanted memories and emotions rush through her head. His hands filled with chocolate. His red umbrella hovering over her as they stood right here. His smile as she gently held his foot on that day.

"A-" A loud stutter escapes her before she can stop it, and she tries to control the intake of her ragged breaths. "A faint clap of thunder."

The man in front of her pauses as if taking in the words. She forces herself to continue despite the feverish heat beginning to well inside her chest.

"Clouded skies."

He begins to turn, and that same maroon tie chases after him.

"Even if the rain comes not,"

She swallows once in an attempt to stop the shaking of her voice before forcing herself to open her mouth and speak even louder than before.  

"I will stay here," 

The same set of emerald eyes meets hers, and her chest constricts painfully when she finally sees his face.

"Together with you."

Her fingernails bite into her palms as anxiety begins to pool inside her. Yet at the same time, some invisible anvil keeping her chained to the ground starts to lift off her shoulders.

A wry smile creeps to his face while he steps closer to her. Having him look down at her like this fills her with a nostalgic sensation, but she isn't done yet. She parts her lips for a third time.

"Even if the rain doesn't come, will you stay here?" Haruka's gaze stays pointed to the their feet. Mocassins and dress shoes, standing together in the park once more. "That's my answer. Even without the rain, I'll stay here." Regardless if her cheeks are flushed or not, she meekly looks up to meet his now-familiar eyes. For some reason they look somewhat sad. "...It was in the classic literature textbook." 

Makoto nods, the same wry smile delicately painting his features. "Yes, that's the correct answer." Haru blinks. Given the circumstances in his teaching career, she wonders how often he got to say those words. "I'm glad, really. You found the right answer to the tanka I recited to you when we met."

He pauses; this time it's his gaze that falls to the ground. His smile goes from wry to apologetic. "I'm sorry. I thought you would've realized I was a classic literature teacher. There were so many rumors I thought everyone knew about me." Shrugging his shoulders a bit, he looks to her again. "But you're always off in your own world, aren't you? You never stop moving forward." Maybe it's just her imagination, but is that a hint of longing his voice? Or... admiration? 

The man's face softens in sincere concern. "Hey... What happened to you?" When she stares blankly at him, he touches his cheek and his brow furrows. "Those bruises and bandages. Are you alright?"

"Huh?" Oh." Her own fingers scratch at a band-aid just below her eye. "I was acting like you and drank too much beer. Then I fell onto the train tracks by accident."

Makoto's eyes widen in horror, and a hand flies over his mouth. "Oh, no, did you go to a hospital?"

A smile of her own splits her face, and she feels so relaxed again. "No, I'm kidding. I got into a fight, that's all." Part of her actually does want to tell him the story behind the injuries, but she knows better than to bring it up for his sake. 

Now it doesn't feel like they've been apart for very long, either. A surge of hope swells within her. Maybe, just maybe, they won't have to say goodbye permanently anymore.

Just as that thought comes to pass, a booming sound rumbles behind her and shakes her eardrums. A flash of something crosses the sky, and the two turn to see swirling clouds gather together and darken.

No. No way. Is it really...?

A cold drop lands on the bridge of her nose, and her grin breaks out before she can stop it. The rain really did come back to her. When she looks to the surface of the river, the current changes and darkens along with the reflect of the rumbling in the clouds. The ripples are as beautiful as ever, but something seems different. The rain feels frantic and wild, the raindrops seeming to pound on the floor rather than gently touch it. Within seconds both her hair and everything surrounding her is drenched and shrouded in mist. Her feet take a step back before she can notice. It's the first time she's ever been remotely frightened of this. Sure, she had prayed for it for months on end, but a rainstorm?

The howling wind whips branches and leaves everywhere and her hair and clothes are nearly clinging to her body at this point. It feels like a hailstorm is battering her face, and she lifts up an equally-wet arm to try to shield the brunt of it.

"The gazebo!" Makoto shouts over the thundering rain and snaps her out of her daze. When she looks to him, he's also closed an eye against the wind and has a finger pointed to the barely-visible shape of the gazebo in the distance. "Let's take cover there for now!"

For a while, her thoughts drown out the sound of the storm and the icy drops clawing at her exposed skin. Her loose black locks impair her sight so much she has to push it back from her face while she runs. All she can take in is the fact that she has to follow that little flash of maroon waving back and forth. But through it all, the rain doesn't feel cold. In fact, she can't feel a trace of fear, anxiety, or any of it except for anticipation.

She has to ask herself several times: _Am I dreaming?_

The rain's here. He's here. She's running through a rainstorm with the strongest urge to laugh out loud. Even if this is a dream, she wouldn't want to be woken up.

The two finally stumble into the gazebo, and her skin feels twice as freezing and pricklish from the goosebumps. A few seconds pass in which all conversation stops as they gasp for breath and attempt to wipe the layers upon layer of water seeming to drench them from head to toe. Haruka twists the bottom of her uniform shirt and wonders how much water she could've absorbed through her skin.

She's only surprised for a moment when Makoto laughs. "We're really soaked, aren't we?" Some sort of tingling feeling runs down to her toes when he gives her a sheepish smile. Even with his sopping clothes and tousled hair, something about his grinning face with dewdrops rolling down it is enchanting, just like that last day they'd met. "It looks like we just swam through the river." He takes a moment to rake a hand through his bangs to push his hair back and she nearly starts to choke. 

She has no idea why, but she's so ridiculously happy she can't hold back a laugh. "Yeah." It's like something in her chest is fluttering, blooming. A hidden switch covered in dust that she hadn't known was there had been pushed, all because of one person. 

"Are you okay?" The man asks as they sit beside each other on the bench as if it were just another ordinary day between the two of them. "I'm sorry, I forgot my umbrella." He looks so genuinely guilty that she frowns a bit. Hadn't he thought about himself at all?

Haru shakes her head, flicking a few drops astray. "No, it's okay, I'm fine." Honestly, there isn't much point in denying it- she's shivering as she speaks.

Now he shakes his head. "Mm, no, it's not. You're shaking. You might've already caught a cold. Here." He begins to strip himself of his blazer before staring at the dripping article of clothing with a defeated expression as if he just remembered it was as dry as the rest of his body. "O-Oh-" 

Haruka just scoffs, clenching her jaw to try to stop the chattering of her teeth. "It's fine, really." She hardly manages to bite back the rest of her sentence:

_"Since I get to stay here longer with you."_

"S-Sorry." He apologizes before sighing and rubbing his arms. "But still, the rain's really heavy today, isn't it? The weather forecast this morning didn't mention anything about this. We should probably wait for it to die down a bit before we leave." His green eyes travel upwards toward the edge of the gazebo roof. Streams of water are gushing over the ends rather than drops.

Just the idea of having to leave curls her body inwards, leaving her anxious and gripping her shoulders with her arms crossed over her chest. She knows she's acting like a spoiled child, but the feeling suddenly returns. The feeling that if she ever lets him go, he'll slip away and never come back. She doesn't want that.

She forces her trembling lips apart. "Tachibana-sensei."

"Hm? What is it?" She can almost feel his patient gaze on her.

"Why are you so kind to me?"

Some sort of soft laugh leaves him. "Hm?" That's not it at all. I'm just doing what anyone would do. You've been just as kind to me, too. And compared to when I first met you, I feel like you've matured even more."

Her eyes flutter open and her heart jumps a little in her chest. Now she's the one who wants to tell him that he's completely wrong. Even if he were right, she's just an adult stuck inside a child's body. But somehow, another piece clicks. Again, he'd told her something she'd never known she wanted to hear. How does he keep doing that? She's not that easy to read, is she? Either way, the comment makes unexpected heat rush to her cheeks. For a second she wonders if he knows how much his words, both then and now, mean to her.

The corners of her lips twitch and start to rise. Every bit of emotion swirls inside her and slips out.

"Thank you." She slowly says with nothing but all the sincerity inside her. But deep down, she knows the gratitude runs much deeps than just two words. There's nothing more she can possibly say to even begin to explain how deeply she feels. 

There's a pause before she can almost hear his smile. "You're welcome."

The conversation drops there, and the two sit in silence with the rushing of rain filling the backdrop steadily. 

She doesn't face him, and stays in her curled-over position. The chill doesn't do anything to repel the nervous thoughts. Why didn't she respond? What should she say? What did he think of her now? What if her shirt had gone see-through and he'd seen her underwear? Haru clutches her arms tighter at the idea.

But for some reason, she's happy.

Time passes in the comfortable atmosphere they'd made. It's like they created a little infinity where the minutes are hours and seconds don't exist. A strange sense of serenity and comfort relaxes her muscles and temporarily makes her forget about the bitter cold. she's not sure why, but whenever she's with him, the same thing goes through her head over and over again.

_If only I could stay like this forever._

As if punishing her for having that thought, her nose itches uncontrollably and a loud sneeze shatters the bubble of calm like a bat crashing into a window. 

Her body temperature rises significantly and she hurriedly wipes her nose before remembering how wet her sleeve is.

As expected, Makoto smiles. "It's probably is too cold to stay out after all. Do you have any friends or relatives you could call to pick you up?"

She gulps and shakes her head. "My sister and mom are still out." 

His brow furrows in thought. "Ah, is that so? I can walk you home if you'd like."

Haruka searches the pockets of her bag before an invisible fist punches her in the stomach.

"What's wrong?"

She dips her head down in shame. "I forgot my keys." 

Green eyes blink in surprise. "Oh." He chuckles. "That's a bit of a problem, isn't it?"

Haruka shoots him a look. 

His expression softens. "Well, in that case, there's no helping it." The taller man rises from the bench and she follow him with her gaze. He turns and gives her that gentle look with the upturned eyes. "Why don't you stay at my apartment until your family comes back? You can use my phone." When he catches her dumbfounded stare, his smile turns a little pained. "I'm sorry. I know it's a strange thing to offer, but I don't want you to catch a cold and wait for it to get dark. Besides, it's better to have an actual roof over our heads, right?"

Haru realizes that he's waiting for her to respond, and she does so clumsily as always. "Uh, no, that's not it, but can I really? I don't want to intrude."

"Oh, you're not intruding on anything. I live alone, anyway."

She still wavers. It's not that she doesn't trust him- in fact she does quite a lot. But even so, they'll be walking to his apartment alone together in the rain. If one of the seniors saw them...

Again, he sees right through her. The light turn of his lips turns a bit sympathetic and melancholy. 

"Really, it's alright. The third-years are still at school, most likely." He pauses to run a hand through his dripping hair and laugh somewhat ironically. "And... I'm not a teacher anymore." 

Something strange strikes her, causing her to jolt before calming down again. That was the first time. Of course they couldn't keep skipping around the acknowledgement of their relationship forever. He'd done so subtly, but it still felt like something was twisting her stomach.

Silently, she nods and rises from the bench.

 

* * *

 

 

The drive to the man's apartment is quiet and uneventful for the most part, aside from the dirty look the taxi driver gives them for soaking the back seats. When they finally reach the small flat, the first thing he does is apologize for the mess even though there's not much to begin with. After Haru dries herself in the bathroom with a towel, she looks at her reflection in the mirror.

The striped orange shirt he's lent her is obviously way too big- it seems to hang from her thin frame and fall halfway down her thighs. Her gaze travels to the navy blue shorts. Again, clearly oversized, falls down to her knees and clings to her hips as if they would slide to her ankles if he moves too much. But they come with a drawstring, at least, so she ties a double-knot and prays it'll be enough to stay. They both smell nice. Even so, she's warm, she's dry, she's under a roof and Makoto is here with her. 

This might just be the happiest time of her life.

Carefully, she puts on the light blue slippers and pads across the hardwood flooring back to the living room. The furniture and decor is simple, save a carpet or picture frame here and there. But as she walks out of the hallway, she notices there's not a single picture of him with a woman, and she's not sure whether to feel worried or relieved. However, neither of them surface since a rather mellow feeling blankets over them upon seeing the photos of him laughing with two children who could only be his younger siblings. They all share the same eyes and vibrant smiles. Seeing it makes her feel happy for some reason. When she reaches the small living room, the first thing she notices is that the lights aren't on. The space is already well-illuminated from the light reflected by the clouds outside the sliding door leading out onto the balcony.

Haruka's eyes scan over the room, subtly observing. there are a few piles of magazines, mail, and papers on either side of a red sofa, and a coffee table adorned by a tiny flower pot rests in front. The faint but distinguishable scent of coffee wafts into her nose.

She's unaware of the brightening of her eyes when her gaze settles on Makoto, dressed in a dark green t-shirt and long sweatpants behind the kitchen counter with a mug in his hand. 

When he notices her footsteps, he glances her way and greets her with a humble smile. "Oh, welcome back. I don't have much, but make yourself at home, okay?"

Haru hides her reddened face behind her hair and silently nods. She'd never thought a man would ever say those words to her.

Makoto smiles apologetically. "Sorry those clothes are so big. I don't really own anything that would suit a teenager, you see." 

She shakes her head and quietly says, "No, it's fine. I understand." 

Thankfully by now he seems like he’s used to her short answers, because he smoothly fills in the gap by sliding a light blue mug with clouds printed on it across the counter to her. “Would you like some coffee? I like mine sweet, but I don’t know about your tastes in it. Is black okay?”

She blinks at this and takes a second to stare down into the scary-looking liquid. Honestly she’s never even drunk coffee before, nor did she really feel the need to start. But it smelled… alright. And it wasn’t like she could possibly say no when he went out of his way to make her a cup and now he’s staring at her with that sweet smile and expectant eyes.

It was a thing that adults always drank, right? Better late than never, and she wanted to prove some maturity to him, too.

Haruka nods and takes the mug in both hands, feeling a little urge of determination prick at her to grow up. “Yeah. Thank you.”

He might have noticed her hesitation, because he chuckles a bit. “Is this your first time drinking coffee? I can get you something else if you'd like.”

She shakes her head with a pointed glare and lifts the mug to her lips-

And then chokes on her first sip and has to put the cup down to cough a few times.

She wonders if Makoto’s trying to withhold his laughter from the way her back is turned to him and she’s trembling while attempting to force down the hot, bitter liquid with a hand over her mouth.

“Was it too bitter?”

Too bitter is a mild understatement from how her taste buds are screaming in agony, but she refuses to give in and shakes her head again.

“That was your first time drinking coffee, wasn’t it?” She can almost _hear_ the smile in his voice and it makes her face heat up, but she decides to let him have this one and slowly nods. “Why didn’t you say so? You didn’t have to force yourself.”

Finally recovering from the mild trauma her first sip of coffee brought, she glances away and a slight pout reaches her lips. “…It would have been rude not to after you made it for me.”

He just laughs softly. “That’s impossible. You’ve never been rude to me.” The way he sincerely says it nearly makes her heart give out, but he just heads over to the fridge and pulls out a carton of eggs. He turns to her with a smile and she almost wants to combust from how much this looks like a scene from a romance movie where the main couple just moved in together.  

“How about we have something else?”

Her eyes sparkle a little bit at the thought of cooking with him, and she tries to keep herself composed as she steps over to ask what they’re making; omelet rice, he says.

She finds it nice to be able to stand next to him and cook together until he completely crushes an egg in his fist trying to crack it with one hand and drips the contents all over the table.

After that they decide that she’ll do the cooking and he'll do the laundry.

For some reason, cooking for him makes her incredibly happy. Of course, she’s cooking for herself too and this isn’t the first time she’s done this with thoughts of him in her mind, but she finds that worrying over the little things that normally she wouldn’t care about it somewhat fun. How much rice he’d want, cutting more than one half of an onion, stirring a pot of miso soup that normally would last her a few days by herself. Her chest starts to tighten in a strange emotion she’s never felt, and since her back is turned she doesn’t fight the soft smile on her lips. It’s like when she’s there doing something as simple as frying omelets and squirting a squiggly line of ketchup on top of them, it’s enough to let her forget about all her troubles. She truly feels at ease, with the sound of the rain just outside and Makoto only a few steps away. At the thought of him she glances over her shoulder to sneak a peek at what he’s doing.

Like he promised, he took out Haruka’s uniform shirt from the dryer and carefully laid it out on the ironing board. Every now and then there was a slight hissing noise from the iron being pressed to the fabric, and the way he smiled gently as he slid it across her shirt caused her heart to melt slightly. It was a petty thing to be flustered over, but it just seemed too surreal to be in his apartment, cooking for him while he was drying her shirt with such a look in his eyes. But it was a flustered kind of happy, one that she hadn’t remembered the sensation of. Never in her entire life had she imagined she’d be in a situation like this. She begins to wonder what would have happened if she hadn't been at the park that day, but it gets too scary trying to imagine it, so she stops halfway.

The silence is pleasant and filled in with the sound of frying food and hisses from the iron. Raindrops crawl down the screen door, and time ticks on much faster than it should. It’s dangerous how many times she wishes, “If only I could stay like this forever”, and how hard her heart is beating.

When the dishes and soup are finally done, she’s greeted with a smile as always as he helps her place the bowls of omelet rice onto the small table. It looks a bit too small for two people, but somehow she likes it that way better.

Small talk and compliments of the food are passed back and forth, and it’s almost too pleasant at how it seems like they haven’t grown any farther apart at all. Here, in his apartment, eating food she made for him, wearing his clothing, talking with him, laughing with him, smelling the scent of coffee and his cologne with the rain outside the window next to them.

This might just be the happiest time of her life.

Seeing as how she still has some time, the peaceful smile never leaves her face as she settles into a comfortable position at the foot of the couch with the screen door opened just slightly so she can hear the rain and feel a slight breeze against her skin. Sitting on the floor is fine with her, and it’s like her mind is in a complete state of euphoria, like this is their own little world that they had created and nothing outside of it could ever hurt her.

A hand comes down and offers a cup of something else, something that smells familiar, and she looks up from the raindrops pattering outside to see Makoto holding out a cup of hot chocolate.

“You should drink something to warm up.” He gives her that smile again, and she wonders why she can’t stop thinking about him or why her cheeks get hot or why her heart feels like it’s about to burst. Why?

“Thank you.” It almost comes out as a whisper from how she’d hidden herself behind her hair again, looking away and closing her hands around the warm cup as she desperately hopes he can’t see her face. After he says his polite “You’re welcome,” and heads back over to the counter to make his own, she can’t help but find herself wondering if he was as happy as she was to be here.

Right then, right there, as she sits on the floor with a cup of hot chocolate and just beside a screen door with the rain falling outside, her eyes widen.

It’s risky.

It’s risky and it’s thoughtless and it came out of nowhere and she knows it’s never going to come back to her.

But she still says exactly what came across her mind in that split moment.

“Makoto-san.”

She’s never addressed him by his name before, but that doesn’t bother her. She just keeps staring straight at him.

“What is it?” He turns from the counter to look at her, meeting her eyes with his cup still in his hand.

“I think I love you.”

Despite the fact that she was so nervous and quiet just seconds before, for some reason her five words come out so clearly she’s shocked she even said them out loud. Then she realized: that was the first time she had ever confessed her feelings.

This man is her first love.

Haruka keeps watching him intently, and though her heartbeat is quickening rapidly and her ears block out everything except for the sound of rain, she waits for a reaction.

Words. A smile. Anything.

And in the midst of the silence hanging in the air, a light pink blush spreads across his cheeks and he blinks in surprise, quickly glancing away and staring into his hot chocolate. When he turns, she can see that even the tips of his ears have gone red.

He wasn’t expecting it.

She wasn’t either.

She wonders a lot of things. She wonders how she must look, with her reddened cheeks and oversized shirt and band-aids all over her face. She wonders what he thinks of her.

She always has.

Haru doesn’t even know what she’s expecting. She just had to say it, and she looks down into the steam coming from her hot chocolate. Has she ended everything just by saying those five words? She has. The safe little bubble of happiness they once had has burst thanks to her, and she curls up into a tighter ball on the floor. What does she want him to say?

When he finally composes himself, she’s not sure if she even wants to hear him or not. But of all things she wasn’t expecting, it’s the way he smiles wryly and turns around with a bit too much energy than the atmosphere called for.

“Not Makoto-san… Sensei, remember?”

Usually she liked hearing his voice. It was gentle and nice to listen to. But of all the words, of all the tones he could have chosen, it had to be the one that brushed off the sentence she had blurted out yet taken so much courage to say. It had to be the one that sounded too happy, it had to be the one that treated her feelings like a joke.

Her vision blurs, and she’s not even in control of the way her expression breaks and falls apart. With only a short, lightly-said sentence, her heart has been withered away and trampled on. Part of her resents him; the bigger part resents herself. None of this would have happened if she had just kept her mouth shut. If she just hadn’t told him she loved him.

Haruka’s still staring, wide-eyed and broken at the steam above her cup, and she’s only slightly reminded of the fact that she still exists until his bare feet come into view. He’s pulled over a chair to talk to her, and she wonders then if he realizes how much she’s internally hurting.

She doesn’t like the way he’s sitting higher than her on a chair. She wants him to sit on the floor with her. She wants him to be on the same level as her. She doesn’t want to be reminded of the distance that pushes them apart no matter what she does, tries, or says. She doesn’t want this.

She can’t bring herself to look at him as he glances outside the rainy window.

“…I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier, but… I’m going to be moving next week.” He says, quietly, calmly, but still trying to maintain that peacefulness and gentle tone. “Back to my hometown in Shikoku. I made the decision a while back.”

_Please come back,_ she’s praying furiously. Who she’s praying for, she doesn’t know. Him? Or for the happiness that had been so pleasant just moments ago? Her world is quietly falling apart.

“You know,” His words are hushed, almost like he’ll break something if he continues on too loudly. “I was practicing how to walk on my own, there in that place.”

That place.

The gazebo. The lunch boxes. The tanka. The book. The rainstorm. The shoes. His smile.

Everything hurts.

“Even if I’m on my own… even if I’m barefoot.” His feet arch up a little with his words, but she just feels completely empty at this point.

Haruka looks up, only to see his sad smile pointed to the small garden outside on the patio. The plants have wilted and are soaking in their pots.

“So you’re just…” Her words come out in a whisper so soft they could have been swept away if a breeze were to come in through that window just then.

“So I want to thank you.” The man she once knew stares down at her to meet her eyes with a gentle, sincere expression. “For everything, Nanase-san.”

That’s the first time he’s ever said her name.

Her throat constricts and her eyes are stinging and her blood is pounding so hard in her ears it’s giving her a headache.

There’s no more to be said or done.

It’s over. All of it.

The next time her voice can be heard, she speaks so robotically it reminds her of how she was before she met him. “Thank you for lending me these clothes.” She stiffly stands up and places her untouched hot chocolate on the small table that they ate at. “I’ll get changed now.”

No, that’s not it.

That’s not what she wants to say at all.

“But yours aren’t…” He turns to tell her, but she ignores him and moves into the bathroom where her clothes are hanging. Her body feels a million times heavier and it feels like there’s no more oxygen to breathe.

She really does wonder if she’s just become a robot. Everything is mechanic. After she rids herself of his clothing, trying not to take in the scent, she folds them on the counter slowly and picks up her uniform. The shirt that he had been ironing so carefully earlier means nothing to her now. Nothing does.

He’s right. They’re not dry yet. But she doesn’t want any excuse to stay in this empty void of a place that was so warm and bright minutes ago. So she pulls on her shirt and skirt, staring into space while she buttons it up, staring at the school crest and not even having the energy to despise it. She just wants to go home. Home to an empty, cramped apartment filled with shoes and nobody home but her. She just wants to sleep. Sleep and sleep and sleep until there’s nothing left. Until it will feel like the past three months were nothing but a bad dream.

Haru picks her bag up off the floor and exits the bathroom, heading back into the living room to see Makoto still sitting there, watching her with a pained expression, almost as if there was more he wanted to say. She has more, too. But she won’t say it.

“I’ll be going home now.” She whispers, and she doesn’t need to try to keep her face expressionless. “Thank you for your hospitality.” There’s a pause before she bows lightly, letting her hair fall around her shoulders. “Goodbye.”

When she spins to the door this time he really does stand up, his lips parting as if he was really going to say something. She contemplates pausing to listen but decides it’ll only make it more painful if anything else was said. Goodbye was a good enough place to end it.

In the end, he doesn’t say anything, and she slips on her shoes and leaves.

 

* * *

 

The sound of the door clicking shut seems to numb all the nerves in his body, and all he can feel is the heat of the cup in his hands and hear the sound of the rain falling beside him. No matter how many times it happens, he’ll never get used to the sensation of guilt behind breaking another heart.

He lets out a shaky sigh and presses his hand to his face, feeling his throat start to burn with the urge to cry but fights it the best he can. What right did  _he_ have to cry? After looking like he was seducing a student only to crush her dreams and feelings down into the ground and tell her at the last minute that he was moving away? After she had told him she loved him and he pretended not to hear it?

Still feeling empty and frozen inside, he leans forward to place his cup on the table next to hers. Suddenly everything over the course of the past few months runs through his brain. At the time it seemed like a better idea to keep everything to himself to prevent her from getting too involved, but it only ended up having the opposite effect. When he pulls his phone out of his pocket, there’s two missed calls from Kaori, probably to check on him and remind him about the papers that were sent to the office about his leave. It embarrasses him that even after they split up she’s had to watch over him from afar and with that same lightly scolding tone. But they both know it won’t work out if they were to try again. She didn’t believe him and only listened to the voices surrounding her when the rumors began to spread.

He still remembers the first time he told Kaori about Haruka. And out of shame he covered up her identity by telling her she was just an old lady who brought her lunch to the park often.

Lying to Haruka about his job. Leading her on. Unable to move on from where he’s always been stuck in.

Ever since then, he’s been nothing but lies.

The realization scares him down to his very soul, and he buries his face into his hands. Even though he wants to just forget everything, there’s a feeling of desperation. Her voice won’t leave his head.

_“I made this lunch for myself, but… if you like, you can have some.”_

_“I want to make it my career… If I can.”_

_“I haven’t decided whose shoes yet… They’re… men’s shoes.”_

_“I was acting like you and drank too much beer. Then I tripped and fell on the Yamanote line platform.”_

_“I think I love you.”_

_“A faint clap of thunder. Clouded skies. Even if the rain comes not, I will stay here.”_

_“Together with you.”_

And finally, he realizes.

If he wants to change anything, he has to go now.

If he wants his time to move, he has to run.

Now.

His mind turns white and he launches himself up from his chair, knocking it backwards as he trips over to the front door.

He nearly crashes into the door trying to push it open, and it bursts open so quickly that he stumbles outside and has to push himself off the wall before turning the corner and racing down the stairs.

Short gasps and breaths leave his lips as his bare feet pound desperately down the winding sets of stairs. Icy puddles bite at his toes, but he holds everything into his chest while ghosting a hand over the railings. The rain is still falling, the clouds still darkening. A storm.

The steps don’t ever seem to end. He can feel how hard his heart is pounding and his head is starting to spin from dizziness. The hard, grainy concrete is still grating into his feet while he looks down at the end of each set.

Somewhere along the way- he’s not even sure what floor he’s on anymore or where he even is- his foot gets caught behind his ankle and into the leg of his sweatpants and the next second he blinks the world is crashing far too close into his view before he realizes he’s about to fall.

A pained yelp escapes him when his body collides into the ground, feeling all the oxygen leave his chest and the front of his shirt and pants seep in the water. But all he does is clumsily push himself back up again, scraping the pads of his fingers into the damp cement and keep running.

It’s ironic.

All he’s been doing is running away, and the one time he runs to find something again, he’s too late.

He finally stops and skids across the ground when he finally sees her. A head of perfectly straight, black hair staring out at the wet city with her bag at her feet and her back turned as she leans on the railing.

Makoto breaks into a cold sweat and pants heavily as she slowly turns around, unable to stop his blood from racing so quickly. Relief washes over him but is quickly replaced by anxiety. What was he supposed to say? His words tangle in his throat and slide back down to his stomach, and he slowly steps down three steps to look down at her uncomfortably. His heart tears at the sight of the band-aids on her cheeks. Those bruises were for him and he’d offered nothing but more pain in return.

Usually she’s so simple to read, and now he can’t even tell what her blank eyes are trying to say.

“I…” He breathes out, and his throat is starting to close up again along with his words. Had he chased her here for nothing? Drops of rain drip from his fingertips and clothing, and he doesn’t even have the heart to ponder how pathetic he looks with his wet clothing and scraped hands and face.

“Tachibana-san.” Haruka starts, looking down at her shoes with her hands in loose fists. “Please forget what I said earlier. I was wrong.” She raises her chin to meet his eyes with a far-too calm expression. “I hate you.”

His eyes widen, unaware of the anguish beginning to take hold of his features. His lips part again, wanting to say so much more, but he simply clenches his jaw and stares to the side. What right does he have to tell her she’s wrong in feeling that way?

 

* * *

 

She can’t stand the teary-eyed look on his face, but the frustration keeps building up and breaking itself down and she can’t bring herself to stay silent anymore. The rain pounds harder on the ground surrounding them, filling her eardrums with the sound.

“Ever since the beginning, I thought you were…” There’s so much she wants to say. So much. But she can’t even begin to put it into words. They won’t come out gracefully. Gritting her teeth, she glares at her shoes and tightens her fists. “…Someone who I shouldn’t have spoken to.”

The rushing of rain nearly gives her a headache. Drops are constantly flying everywhere and the wind won’t stop blowing. Her hair is whipped back, and the words just bubble up and spill out without her even thinking about them.

“Drinking beer in the morning, quoting some random tanka to me…”

She waits. Waits for those words, his face, a reaction.

It never comes.

Everything, every single emotion she’s ever felt over the past three months comes rushing back to haunt her and tangles up in an ugly mix of jealousy and hate inside her heart.

Her eyes point in an accusing glare at him.

“You listen all day to other people talking, and you never say a thing about yourself…!” She’s never heard herself speak so loudly. She slaps a hand over the crest on her shirt. “You knew I was a student, didn’t you? Why didn't you say anything? That’s just unfair!”

Her vision is blurring and all she can do is take a half-step forward. Every word is brimming with hatred and venom and feelings of reject and hatred. “If I knew you were a teacher, I never would have told you about myself or my dreams or the shoes. You don’t think I’ll ever go anywhere in my life either, anyway!” Her fingernails cut into her palms. “So why didn’t you say anything to me? You thought maybe you’d humor the little girl’s fantasy for a while? Well? Say something!”

Her throat is starting to burn, not only from her desperate yelling and she knows the tears are going to come in. Her voice breaks, still trying to glare at him the best she can despite the fact that she’s just melting on the spot. “Tell me that I’m useless! Tell me that I’ll never live up to my own expectations! You knew _everything_ from the very beginning!”

“So just tell me, dammit! Tell me I’m a pain, tell me I’m in your way! Tell me that little kids should just run along to school!”

She can’t see his face from her tears, but she can vaguely see his head shake and chin dip down in shame. Still no words.

Why?

The hot tears crawl down her cheeks and her raw throat screams out one last spurt:

“Tell me that you hate me! You… You…” She frantically scrubs the tears away with her wrists and doesn’t stop the wind from tousling her hair. “It’s because you always act like that! You never say what’s important! You pretend like it’s none of your business! You’ve been living like that your entire life, _alone_!”

Haruka blinks, still panting and trying to soothe her throat.

The clouds part from behind his shaking silhouette, and from the rays of golden sunlight she can see the tears streaming down his face. Letting out a gasping sob, he stumbles down the staircase, and the light sound of splashing could be heard as he tripped to her and tackles her tightly into his arms.

Time seems to freeze. The pained sensation of her back hitting the railing is numb, but she can feel that one of her socks is starting to dampen. He’d hugged her so hard a single moccasin had slipped right off her foot.

Her arms hover by her sides for a bit, unable to process a thing. His chest is so broad and warm despite having been soaked moments before, and strong arms are crushing her so tightly to him she blankly wonders if she’ll be bruised anywhere.

But it only takes a few drops to land on her neck before she comes back to life, and her own tears spill over and the choking sobs just keep coming out at an embarrassing volume.

Until Makoto lets out a pained cry of his own right beside her ear, and suddenly she feels so small in comparison. It echoes around the staircase and bounces in her skull, every single piece of pain tangible in that one child-like wail as he holds her close. Her chest is shaking uncontrollably and her hands weakly touch his back. It almost starts to hurt when he leans fully into her.

“Every morning…” His broken, cracking voice reaches her ears as he buries his face into her neck and her feet start to arch up off the ground from how his arms are fastened around her waist. “Every morning I put on my suit to go to work… But I was… scared… I couldn’t go…”

One of his large hands rises to touch the back of her head, touching at her hair, and she melts in his touch.

“In that place…” He shakily whispers.

“…You saved me...”

Knowing she would never feel this warmth ever again, she held onto him tightly on the afternoon of a rainy day, crying shamelessly on a staircase while hugging a man with wet clothes and scraped feet with only one moccasin on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //wipes brow  
> phEW I DON'T LIKE THIS.  
> But it's just been so long since I've updated and now all that's left is the epilogue; that definitely won't take as long. This monster of a chapter took me a while to finish, so I hope it's at least somewhat acceptable! (as the author I can say it at least follows the source material well)  
> So please please please tell me what you thought of it! There's only one chapter left now, so thanks with sticking with this up until now. v u v


	6. A Rainy Morning - Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The snow has begun to fall, but he still stays in her mind.

([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWEfok4mVFQ))

Just like she knew it would, summer ended.

The days following felt as though they passed surprisingly fast, despite the fact that nothing much had changed. Slowly but surely the time came to switch to her winter uniform.

It didn’t come as even a mild surprise to see the red marks littered all over the front of her final exams, jumping out angrily at her as if to scare her. Piles and piles of expensive leather sat in a corner, wasted away and unusable. Her mother eventually returned from her cut-short and obviously failed honeymoon, too. And the familiar faces at her part-time jobs still greeted her with warmth even during the cold of winter break.

And every time she added a layer to her clothing, she wondered to herself,

What is he doing now?

There wasn’t a week or maybe even a day that had passed without him working his way into her mind. What was he doing? Was he living with his parents and siblings? Had he started teaching at another school? Is he happy?

Whenever she got around to pondering about him, a little bit of guilt lingered inside her head. After everything he’d given to her, she couldn’t give him anything in return. For those months spent quietly drifting along, she dedicated her time to fixing that.

Just a few days after Christmas and into the New Year, she and several other students were called down to the faculty office. Letters for each of them sat on the desk, little bundles of words waiting to be read. Haruka was barely aware of the sparkling in her eyes, but simply snatched up her own and ran out of the room with a wildly thumping heart and shaking hands. The other girls had opened theirs and starting crying right away, and as she swiftly sped down the stairs she could only wonder what sincere messages he could have written.

Finally, on a snowy January day filled with snowflakes and soft breaths, simple moccasin flats press along the whitened walkway to the gazebo filled with nostalgia and longing, just as she remembered. Without the rushing of water and rain, the silence being filled only with the chirps of distant birds and her crunching footsteps, the world is quiet. She had kept her nose buried in her scarf and her hands shoved firmly into the thick jacket worn over her uniform; a reminder of how much time had passed.

It may have been two months since she’d even set foot here, but seeing the place with the time they shared didn’t hurt her as much as she was afraid it would. If anything, a tiny smile tugged the corners of her lips upward in anticipation.

A thin layer of snow covers her clear umbrella and the roof of the gazebo, and her smile can’t help but grow. The seasons have changed, but it doesn’t feel the least bit different.

Haru closes her umbrella as she gently sits down on the bench, feeling the cold bite at her through her skirt and tights. She sets her bag down next to her and pulls out the letter from the front pouch, still in immaculate condition from how much she had treasured it over the past few weeks. The seal had yet to be undone, but she decided that she was finally ready to read it today.

After forking her icy fingers under the seal carefully, she takes in a chilly breath from her nose and holds it as she unfolds the letter paper.

She can feel the way her eyes soften in amusement. His writing is messy and a little slanted, but somehow she couldn't have imagined it any other way.

 _To Nanase Haruka-san,_ it reads. It’s the first time he’s used her full name.

Oh, no. She’s reading it in his voice before she can stop herself, and her heart seems to be completely relaxed until she scans over it, relishing every word and holding it close to her until the very last lines.

_It looks like this letter got so long without me realizing it!_

_Thank you for reading it until the very end._

_I hope that someday you’ll be able to say “I’m happy” with an honest face like I’m able to now._

_And I also hope that the warmer spring days will come soon, for both of us._

A tiny chuckle shakes her shoulders. There’s a little doodle of a shoe next to that sentence. It's cute. 

-  _Tachibana Makoto_

She closes her eyes with that same small smile. _Thank you._

And now, it’s finally her turn.

Carefully, she unzips the large pouch of her school bag to reveal a pair of shining black leather shoes before setting them softly where he’d sat on that first June day. Where he’d looked at her with those curious green eyes, where he’d smiled softly and began the tanka. Where he’d left with the red umbrella she thought she’d never see again.

It’s the first pair of shoes she’s made that she can say that she’s proud of. The materials weren’t cheap, and hours upon hours of careful handling and threading had been poured into this pair; the one made to match his measurements exactly. But then again, ever since she had made her decision to make shoes that would make him want to walk in, his measurements were the only ones she’d used. They were ingrained into her memory and heart at this point. Perhaps that’s how all of her shoes would be made in the future.

She hopes he likes them. She hopes that if he were here now, smiling at her, maybe even wearing a scarf, too; that he would smile kindly at her and tell her, “They’re amazing.”

In a way, she feels redeemed. After everything he’s given to her, she can finally show him something she takes pride in. Something just for him.

In the end, she may have also been learning how to walk on her own, too. Here, in this place.

And even now, she can say with no regrets that he was her first love. Has that feeling come to pass? She doesn’t know herself.

But someday, when she can walk much, much, further on her own-

“I’ll come and see you.”

That faint whisper is the last thing that leaves her lips before she follows her tracked footprints back the way she had come, leaving the garden of words they had built together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it! Drop has finally come to a close.  
> If any of you have actually read up until here, I just want to thank you all for sticking with me. This thing has been so inconsistent in its updating I'm surprised it has the views it does, but thank you all so much for reading and being patient. I hope you all enjoyed it! (even if i'm still a little broken at how this movie ended)  
> Thanks again for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is the first story of the first fanfiction site I've ever applied for. So yeah. Tell me if you liked it.  
> By the way, if you haven't already read the tags (which you should bcuz tags need lurv), this is based off of the Makoto Shinkai film The Garden of Words, so if you REALLY want to know more about it, go ahead and watch it unless you don't want to spoil the plot of this fic for it since it's basically the same thing but with different dialogue and swapped characters, so technically I can't be sued and/or arrested. yayz.  
> Most importantly, I gotta credit marukaprompts for the prompt, so here it is if you really want to see it: (spoiler alerts for the ending if you don't care) http://marukaprompts.tumblr.com/post/74026379884  
> I'd really appreciate any feedback, so go leave it wherever you want to, je suis still confused when it comes to the formatting of this site. The next chapter will probably be out in a day or so since I just have to type it out.  
> Interconnected c:  
> P.S. If there are any fans of this story, I'll call you muffins. So be a fan.


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